Republicans Hint that Self-Immolation Might Be More Effective than Anti-War Hunger Strikes
With the elections just a few days away, Republicans continue to scoff at anti-war hunger strikes as â€œrookie stuffâ€ and have quietly suggested that the anti-war movement should elevate their game if they really want results.
â€œYeah, the notion of Cindy Sheehan surviving on banana smoothies for a couple days really has us up nights,â€ said one Bush staffer. â€œThese guys have really got to step it up if they want to be taken seriously. They need to draw on the heritage of their 1960s anti-war predecessors. Iâ€™m pretty sure that if the bunch of them set themselves on fire, weâ€™d take notice.â€
Self-Immolation has been practiced as a means of protest throughout history, but was most common during the Vietnam War, when several Buddhist monks and American citizens burned themselves to death.
â€œIf Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn and Danny Glover were all simultaneously lit up like torches, weâ€™d probably have the troops home in a couple weeks,â€ continued the staffer. â€œI mean, I canâ€™t promise anything– I’m just free-lancing here. But that sort ofâ€¦demonstration of commitmentâ€¦might get us to realize the error of our ways. I might be going out on a limb here, but a crispy Barbra Streisand might be worth a roll back of the tax cuts. Hell, I’d marry a gay Hollywood producer and adopt several Pakistani refugees if you set Alec Baldwin ablaze.”
Conservatives have a hilarious sense of humor.
Tiara-tip to Linda at Something . . . and Half of Something