Four-year-old Sunshine has been thinking aobut life and death issues lately - literally. My daughter has been concerned about helping Sunshine understand about heaven and God. Here’s what she wrote to our family:
Sunshine has been a little obsessed with death recently and very concerned as to when everyone is going to die. Yesterday I was talking to my dad on the phone and when I hung up she said, “Who was that?” I told her, “Paw-Paw”
. She said, ”I miss Paw-Paw. I don’t want him to die.” I said, “Baby he isn’t going to die.” She explained, “Yes he will die next since he is the biggest of us and then Grandma Carol since she is the next biggest.” I thought it was tender how concerned she was and how matter of fact she was that everyone died in order. Anyway, a couple of days ago she was also discussing death and how she didn’t want anyone to die and I explained that if someone died they would go to heaven and be with God. They would still be with us but not physically and that they would watch over us. Anyway, she then says, “God is a monster then. I don’t like him.”
Shocked I said, “Why?” She said, “Cause he kills people and takes them away to heaven.” Anyway, I was lost for words and obviously my explanation of heaven and death was not good enough. I did slightly convice her it wasn’t God’s fault people died, but anyway I felt completely inadequate to explain it all to her.”
So what do you think? How do you explain such things to a four-year old?
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November 8th, 2007 at 4:12 am
hi my name is Andre from Singapore..
it must have been disheartening to hear things like those from a daugther…
i pray that you did find strength in God..
anyway.. reading as much as you’ve posted here, it did sounds like there is spiritual influence.. like demonic depression..
indeed the only sting of death is the fear of it.. i think you have to pray over her specifically against that.. seek spiritual help from the church, if possible? which country are you from?
November 9th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
After teaching preschool for a number of years, I became a parent who really thought I was ready to answer questions like that. But kids come up with things that always are sure to shock!
I think the best way to help any child understand more about the beauty of heaven and the wonder of God is to give her some time to get to know the nature of God.
Real life reasoning: if you told me you were going to take all my money and put it somewhere safe, I’d never let you! Why? Because I have no idea what your character is! How am I expected to trust you with something valuable, if I don’t know who you are? Instead, I put my money in a bank- I know their reputation, I know what their system is for keeping money, and I know they’ll be around for a long time.
It’s like that with God and heaven. How can Sunshine trust that God loves her and wants good things for her and for the people she loves? First, she must understand that God is inherently good. I recommend finding a church with a good children’s ministry program, show her a few Veggie Tales videos, and share with her times that God has taken care of you.
That way, heaven becomes a place to look forward to, because God is revealed as a loving Father who only wants wonderful things for us. He doesn’t kill us, He protects us. He doesn’t take people away from us, He saves them so we might see them again someday.
Hoping that’s helpful
TMS: Thank you, Amber! That is very helpful indeed! I will pass your words along to my daughter. Thanks again.
November 13th, 2007 at 4:02 am
wow. thx.. i’ve learnt too..