An acquaintance (I won’t give away who it was) called awhile ago. This person was at Vacation Bible School last night - where I also was. Here’s the conversation:
PT: Hi Carol, how are you doing?
Carol: I’m fine, thanks. How are you?
PT: Doing fine. I was just concerned about how you are feeling.
Carol: Why? I feel good.
PT: You just looked really tired last night, and I was worried that something was wrong.
Sigh! Is it just me, or is that not the ultimate put-down? In other words, this person is telling me that I looked like crap last night, and wants to make sure that I know it. However, the comment is couched in “concern” for me. Is that passive aggression? Is it a lack of tact? Or is it simple meanness? Is this someone who has to try to make other people feel bad in order to make him/herself feel good?
The conversation went on to other things - but I scarcely recall what else we talked about. I have spent the time since the phone call going back over what I wore last night, how I did my make-up, what my hair looked like. The grandgirls went to Bible School with me, and they got hats to wear. They thought it would be great fun to put their hats on Grandma Carol’s head. Thus my hair was a wreck. Was my flattened and fly-away hair the culprit? I had to change my shirt right before I left for Bible School, and the shirt I grabbed was an old one that didn’t fit very well - and, as I found out after I got to Bible School, had the hem coming out of it. Was my less than crisp shirt the item that took me from my usual appearance to “tired”? Except for my lipstick, I didn’t refresh my make-up before heading off to Bible School - maybe that resulted in a “tired” look.
Now, in addition to all my other obsessions, I’ve got to worry about what I look like when I go to Bible School tonight.
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