In 2009, I probably only wrote maybe 10 posts altogether. Just checked - I had 33 posts in 2009 - much more than I thought. I used to average three posts a day - and even after the first couple years of blogging, I managed to write at least one post per day. 2009 was a different kind of year, though. With Lily’s leukemia diagnosis last December, I lost any desire to blog about the things I’d spent time on previously. Politics? I had no heart for it. Education? no heart. Social issues? no heart for it either. The only thing that I really WANT to write about is the need for money to fund childhood cancer research. However, that’s like spitting in the ocean. Everyone is interested, but no one wants to talk about it or do anything about it. It’s like all these suffering children are just swept under the rug of conscious thought. Let’s donate to St. Jude and the Ronald Mcdonald House. Let’s collect toys at Christmas to take to the children’s hospital. However, funding for childhood cancers remain only a tiny percentage of the funds provided for research into adult cancers.

So, will I be blogging more frequently in 2010? I don’t know. This blog is too public. I have a private blog that is for only myself - where I don’t have to be concerned with censoring what I write. And I’ve written there occasionally over the past year. Maybe that’s where I’ll concentrate my efforts in 2010.

Now just imagine that this child goes to the grocery store with her mom. In the store is someone who has the flu. Not a bad case - just a little congestion and slight fever. No big deal. The person sneezes or coughs or put his hand on a cart - and one of those flu viruses just happens to find its way to the cancer kid. It’s not likely, but it could happen. It does happen.

So the flu which was no big deal to the healthy person, ends up putting the cancer kid in the hospital. . . or worse. In the past year I know of two precious children here in Tennessee who died because they caught a stupid virus - something that a healthy person would barely notice. But for a child with a compromised immune system, it ended up deadly. It’s not just the immune system. Chemo is so hard on a child’s body. It weakens the heart and other organs. Sometimes the fight that the body must wage against a virus is more than the weakened heart can manage.

And so a child is left fighting for his/her life while the person who passed along that virus has no clue of the damage he’s done.

I’ll be getting the seasonal flu shot AND the H1N1 flu shot. What’s a couple of shots compared to the possibility - however remote - of passing along a life-threatening illness to a precious cancer kid.

Childhood cancer is a reality that is unpleasant - horrifying - unbearably sad. That’s why, in my opinion, people don’t give childhood cancer the attention and funding it desperately needs. It is so much more palatable to give our attention and money to adult cancers and illnesses. Adult illnesses are sad - but they’re ADULTS - at least they made it through their childhoods. We can deal with adult cancer.

I remember a few years ago changing the television station when a St. Jude program came on. I couldn’t bear to watch the little bald-headed children - especially when Marlo Thomas highlighted a child who lost the battle against cancer. It was too painful to think of children undergoing chemotherapy and radiation — too horrifying to think of children losing limbs and being disfigured by cancer - too sad to think of children dying painful deaths. So I changed the channel.

All of those horrifying things are a reality, though. Right this very minute there are children dying of cancer. Those children and their families can’t change the TV channel. They can’t look the other way.

We owe it to those children to give our absolute 100% effort to do everything in our power to end childhood cancer once and for all. There IS a cure for childhood cancer. There IS a way to prevent it. We just have to fund enough research to find them.

Lily has what is sometimes referred to as the “good” leukemia. She has the leukemia that has the best odds of surviving. There is no “good” cancer, though. Since Lily was diagnosed, A.L.L. (or complications from the treatment for A.L.L.) has taken the lives of Addison, Dariana, Nate, Zac and Anika. During that time, other childhood cancers have ended the lives of Caleb, Kris, Kayla, Chelsea, Charlton, and Alexa. And even more sad - these are only the children whose journeys I have personally followed. There are so many, many more. Each of those children were loved and treasured by their families. They left behind brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers who are reeling from the loss. The children themselves suffered through incredible pain and untold numbers of operations and procedures.

We now know other children who are battling cancer at Vandy - Katherine, Tanner, Grayson, Angelie, Hatcher, Andy, Thomas, Elisha, Dylan, Samantha, Riley, Ireland, Cooper, Savannah, Hailey. And others, like Elke, Emma, Kate, Ian and Sallie, who are battling cancer at other hospitals. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at the sheer enormity of the world of childhood cancer. So many children. So much suffering. So little money spent to develop better treatments and a cure.

I wish that there was a requirement that before anyone could run for public office of any kind, they had to spend a day at a children’s oncology clinic. You can’t spend more than a few minutes there without realizing that finding a cure for childhood cancer is a top priority. We have GOT to find better and gentler treatments. Just imagine the horror a mother experiences as she watches poison being injected in her child’s port - knowing that the poison will make the child sick, will cause incredible pain, and could very well cause serious learning problems later in life. And yet, the only alternative is to watch her child die. Imagine the frustration a father feels as he watches kids playing in the park or playing soccer while his child is so weak that he can hardly stand up - much less run and play.

Please do SOMETHING to help spread the word for the need for more research into a cure for childhood cancer. Check out Lily’s Garden for more ways to help.

Then someone left me a link to Kalyn’s Kitchen. Kalyn celebrated her 60th birthday last December by writing about the 60 things she’s learned in 60 years. Lord knows I’ve learned a lot so far in my life. So, with due regards to Kalyn for the idea, here are my “60 Things I’ve Learned in Sixty Years.”

1. Watching birds on a bird feeder gives one a sense of serenity.
2. It is easier to just DO whatever needs to be done rather than spend time planning to do it.
3. Even when you consciously cherish every possible moment of raising your children, their childhoods still go by much too quickly.
4. Grandchildren might possibly be life’s greatest joy.
5. Outdoor kittens are the perfect pets - for me, at least. Plus they’re great for keeping mice away from the house.
6. Just because I’m not a “dog person” doesn’t mean I’m a bad person - just a person who doesn’t particularly care for dogs. Still, I am glad we have Jake because of the security he provides - even though he takes any piece of paper he can find and shreds it all over the yard. He’s Ron’s dog - so I don’t have to clean up after him.
7. Life can change forever in a second - for the better or for the worse.
8. There is a “world of cancer” that most people are only vaguely aware of - if at all. It’s a world quite different from the world of people who aren’t dealing directly with cancer. It makes me wonder about the other “worlds” out there that I know little, if anything, about.
9. You can handle a lot more than you ever thought you could.
10. Listening to gospel music is both uplifting and comforting - and it brings back a lot of memories.
11. It is worth the time and effort to sit down together as a family for a meal each day - even if “sitting down” consists of side-by-side recliners in front of the TV.
12. While I have done things in my life that I regret, my life likely wouldn’t be as good as it is now if I hadn’t had those regrettable experiences.
13. Sometimes actions that make perfect sense at the time seem ridiculous a few years on down the road.
14. When it comes to blogs and online networking sites, it is better not to respond when someone you love writes something you strongly disagree with. Even though I know this to be true, I don’t always do it.
15. It takes a certain personality to be a salesperson - and I don’t have that certain personality.
16. Timewise, teaching is a great profession for a parent. Money-wise, not so much.
17. Waking early, sipping a cup of coffee and easing into the day is a great way to start the day.
18. Being trustworthy is right at the top of the list of the most important character traits. If you can’t be trusted, traits such as kindness and generosity don’t mean much.
19. It is fun and makes you feel special to find a 4-leaf clover. Some people have a knack for finding them.
20. I am glad I’ve had lots of grand adventures in the past sixty years that I can think about with a smile.
21. It is good to look forward to still more grand adventures in the future.
22. Once you’ve been on a children’s oncology floor of a hospital and watched kids getting infusions of chemo, going to the dentist is no longer a big deal.
23. Keeping a camera in the car is helpful. You never know when you’ll want or need to photograph something.
24. It is okay to go through short-lived (or long-lived) phases. At various times in my life I’ve been crazy about quilting, growing roses, making soap, biking, blogging, running, eating grapefruit. The craze always ends, and I move on to something else. Each phase, though, has been fun and I’ve learned from it.
25. Watching a cat stalking birds under a bird feeder is a lesson in patience.
26. Watching a cat play with an animal it has caught is a lesson in nature’s cruelty.
27. Memorizing one’s debit card number makes it easy to make impulse purchases.
28. Being a parent is a life-time job. Even when the kids are grown and on their own, you will worry about them and hurt for them and rejoice with them.
29. One of the purest and tenderest experiences in the world is watching a baby or small child fall asleep in your arms.
30. Just about anything tastes better when it’s grilled outdoors.
31. Good intentions and cloudy thinking are a dangerous combination.
32. One of my greatest satisfactions is preparing a meal that people really enjoy.
33. A cluttered environment leads to stress.
34. The song really does remember when. (Trisha Yearwood - “The Song Remembers When”)
35. It is true that the only person we can really control is ourselves.
36. Most problems that we have are the result of choices we have made. If we want to change things, we have to start making different choices.
37. The “little things” count in a relationship.
38. Don’t buy a cheap mattress. Getting a good night’s sleep affects every other aspect of your life.
39. Perseverance is needed to succeed at any endeavor - whether it’s maintaining a garden, learning a new language, cleaning the house, losing weight or feeding birds.
40. You have to pick your battles in raising children, getting along with your spouse, and working with colleagues.
41. If you make yourself go through the physical motion of smiling when you are upset, it is easier to stop feeling upset.
42. A good night’s sleep makes everything seem better.
43. Traditions are important - but not all-important.
44. Reading is the most multi-dimensional activity I can think of. Through reading we can experience things beyond our physical circumstances or limitations.
45. Baskets are an easy way to de-clutter. Put stacks of magazines and books in baskets, and voila! They’re organized and neat.
46. If you’re feeling down and depressed, either do something for someone else or take a walk. Either one will make you feel better.
47. Ice cream is quite possibly the best tasting food in the world - especially Blue Bell’s Homemade Vanilla ice cream with a little chocolate syrup drizzled on it.
48. It is true that you’re more likely to regret the things you don’t do more than the things you do.
49. There are some seriously mixed up people in the world, and once you’ve identified them, it’s best to steer clear of them.
50. Cherish today because in a few years you’ll consider it part of the good old days.
51. Don’t ever say anything in anger that you wouldn’t want your mom or pastor to overhear.
52. Memorizing poems, songs and stories makes it possible to entertain yourself at times.
53. In making decisions, family always comes first.
54. A reaction to poison ivy really CAN become systemic.
55. There are aspects of each season of the year that I love: Winter = able to hike through woods without fearing poison ivy; spring = all the shades of green; summer = no school; fall = cooler weather.
56. You can teach an old dog new tricks - it just takes more time and effort.
57. Computers are incredible time savers and incredible time wasters.
58. Sometimes people who should know better, don’t.
59. Keeping a journal is a good practice because even if you think there are some things you’ll never forget, after enough years go by, you’ll forget. Not everything, of course, but you’d be surprised how many things you forget.
60. When you’re feeling a little sad about getting older, it helps to write about the things you’ve learned so far in your life.

We keep our dog food and bird seed on the back porch in metal cans. The two bird seed cans (one for black oil sunflower seeds, and the other for thistle seeds) are on one end of the porch - just a few steps away from our many bird feeders. Jake’s dog food can is on the other end of the porch next to his bowl. The convenience of having the cans close to where they’re needed helps us keep our pets - both domesticated and wild - fed in a timely manner. The cans look like small trash cans - with lids that fit snugly but which can be lifted off without much effort. Each holds a large bag of their respective foods.

Several nights ago, a raccoon turned over the dog food can, took off the top, and helped him/herself to a midnight feast on dog food. The sound of the can falling over woke Ron, and he switched on the back porch light. The raccoon ran across the patio and then turned around and stared back at Ron.

Ron wasn’t about to let a raccoon get the best of him, and so the next day, he put a stick of firewood on top of the can. “That’ll keep ‘em out,” he declared.

It didn’t. That night the raccoon again turned over the can and enjoyed a dog food meal. The firewood was lying on the porch next to the overturned can. So Ron added a heavy log to the top of the can and braced it against the brick on the side of the house. “They won’t get THAT off,” he said.

They did. We both slept through the sound of the log, firewood and can falling over on the porch. The raccoon enjoyed a third night of feasting on Jake’s dog food.

Yesterday I bought some bungee cords. I hooked one to the handle on one side of the can, threaded it through the handle on top of the lid, and then hooked the other end to the handle on the other side of the can. Then, even though the bird seed cans hadn’t been touched, I bungee corded them as well. An ounce of prevention and all that.

Morning dawned - and the dog food can was unmoved and unopened. Take THAT, raccoons!

Lily, April 2009

Good Morning! Well we survived our first home administration of chemo yesterday. The hardest part was slowing Lily down. I wanted to read the instructions; however Lily was very confidently hooking everything up. She, of course, was right; however I did insist I administer the actual chemo and Zofran. But she did all of the prep of the port and then flushes. She is so funny. She just confidently cleans the tube, hooks up the saline, draws back blood to make sure it works and pushes in the saline. I guess it is good she wants to participate in her medical care .

Yesterday she felt ok. She didn’t feel as good as she has and was pretty tired. However with a 3 1/2 hour nap in the middle of the day and lots of anti nausea medicine she did pretty good.

We had PT yesterday however her therapist cut the session short after about 15 mins because she was so tired. It was cute she would be red faced from trying and he would say, “Lily, do you want to take a break you look tired?” She would say, “No I’m fine.” He would then come up with an excuse to go get something to make her rest. They would start up again and he would have to break again. I was appreciative, though, that he noticed how tired she was and cut it short.

She has told me that PT is not as much “FUN” at this place, which I can see since they are really working her hard to get her back to functioning. However, she said she likes it better because she wants to get back to gymnastics and soccer and she knows she has a lot to do to get back. It just breaks my heart to watch her at PT. It reminds me of how much she has lost from the treatment. I pray she will be able to go back to gymnastics and soccer, however right now it appears that will be a LONG way off if ever. She still can’t run or even skip and for even the walking activities her therapist has to keep a belt on her so he can keep her upright.

Well, I’m sure you have all heard about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett passing away yesterday. While it is sad everytime I see such excessive coverage of something like this on TV it just disappoints me. I think of all of our friends we have lost since Lily was diagnosed. Much sadder and heroic stories than Michael Jackson. These are kids that have fought a hard battle - kids in the prime of their lives that have died. But there is no news media coverage of their deaths.

There is nothing mentioned. This year two children at a local high school here in town (Ravenwood) lost their lives to leukemia. TWO!!! I never saw one story. You would think that the death of two high school students from the same high school with the same horrible disease would catch some type of media attention but it doesn’t.

In fact, does anyone reading this (other than the other cancer parents) know that this week was CureSearch’s march on Washington to try and raise awareness and money for childhood cancer.

Now I will admit I don’t watch a ton of news, but I haven’t seen a word. Not one word of the thousands of parents and children that are in Washington this week for childhood cancer. Many of these parents have lost a child to this disease. How many incredible stories are at that walk?? Now they will be sad stories, probably too sad for most of us to comfortably watch, but does that mean we just push them under the rug.

So, since the news media won’t report it I guess it is left to us cancer parents to spread the word. Days like yesterday renew me that we have to make a difference - we have to change this. We can’t keep having our children die or be disabled by the harsh treatments of cancer.

So, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died yesterday - Farrah from cancer and Michael from cardiac arrest. However, on Wednesday a seven year old little boy here in Nashville named Nate Richard died. He was diagnosed in 2007 with ALL (the same diagnosis as Lily). He completed his intense treatment and has been doing very well in maintenance. Last week due to the low blood counts you must maintain even during maintenance therapy to treat leukemia he got a infection. They admitted him to the hospital as they have done so many children with cancer for 48 hours of antibiotics. He continued to get worse and worse. Then finally he went into cardiac arrest (The heart is often weakened by the chemo). He then died at around noon. Another precious life lost. Cut short.

Now, he and all the kids at Vandy and throughout the country battling this disease are my true heros. They are the people that need attention and money to find them a cure. And a cure that not just allows them to live but one that allows them to live full lives. Too many kids are significantly impaired by these treatments.

Well, ok to bring this full circle. One of the greatest Michael Jackson songs was “We Are the World.” Yesterday as I was driving the only songs any radio station was playing were Michael Jackson ones. Yes, we had Thriller when we were little and I can still remember my brother moonwalking across the living room (I may have joined in every now and then). And yes Michael Jackson did get wierd later on but we will just remember the earlier less strange years for purposes of this post

However, who can forget “We Are the World.” You had so many big stars singing. I think it was for the kids in Africa and hunger, but yesterday as I was listening to the song I realized how true the words were for childhood cancer too.

The children are the world. They are our future. What we need to do is focus on them and start giving them the future they deserve. Because it is SO TRUE that “Change will only come when we stand together as one.”

Here are the words

WE ARE THE WORLD

There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it’s time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can’t go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God’s great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they’ll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

When you’re down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There’s no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

[Chorus]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

Can you read that and NOT do everything you possibly can to find a cure for childhood cancer?

The mole was on my back and so I was lying on my side as the doctor removed the tissue. I tried to figure out what was going on by what I could hear and feel. The doctor kept pressing against my back - dabbing at blood, I figured. About that time I remembered, “OH yeah! I was supposed to stop taking my daily low-dose aspirin and vitamin E a few days ago so I wouldn’t bleed too much during the procedure.” Oops. I’d had to re-schedule the appointment, and so I had forgotten that part of the instructions. I figured there was no point in mentioning it since it obviously was too late to change anything. And everything seemed to be going just fine.

Before the procedure, as I was waiting, I picked up the only magazine in the room and thumbed through it. The magazine was More Magazine. I’d never heard of it before today. Towards the back of the magazine, there was an article on factors that are associated with a long life. There were the ones I’ve read about before - broad hips, Asian-Americans, good sleepers, first borns, believers, etc. However, they also had one that I had never heard before. People with lots of moles - 100 or more - generally live up to 7 years longer than their non-moley counterparts!!! Seriously!

People with a lot of moles While skin cancer remains a worry, researchers from King’s College in London say that people with more than 100 moles have longer (more protective) telomeres, chromosome-protecting buffers that delay aging and may extend longevity by up to seven years.

Who would’ve ever guessed?! Okay then - I’m set to live a long time - I sleep great, I have wide hips, and I definitely have 100+ moles.