I always get tickled when I hear people say “For all intensive purposes” instead of “for all intents and purposes.”  I was reading another blog this morning (I won’t embarrass the writer by telling which one) that used the phrase “intensive purposes.”  I’m sorry, but when someone uses language so incorrectly,  it’s difficult to pay much attention to the rest of what they’re saying or writing.  “Intensive purposes” really doesn’t make sense in that context.  Do people even THINK about the meaning of what they’re saying or writing?  I dated a guy once who sent out a group email with the phrase “intensive purposes” in it.  Although it made me cringe, I never pointed it out. 

For what it’s worth, folks, the phrase is “FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES.”

Tiara tip to Greta for sharing this.  She found it at Woot.com.

Fifteen Ineffective Charity Fundraising Ideas

by Jason Toon & Matthew Shultz Friday, January 4 10:00 AM

News

• Dogfight for a Cure
• Jersey City Bachelor Auction To Raise Chlamydia Awareness
• Tats for Tots
• The March of Counterfeit Subway Tokens
• We Don’t Have A Problem And We Sure As Hell Don’t Need Your Damn Money Gala Ball & Silent Auction
• PeTA and Hamas Pita-and-Hummus Dinner
• Tree of Syringes
• Everybody Get K-Fed: A Tribute Album To Fight World Hunger
• PTSD Father-Son Fun Shoot
• The Genital Warts Memorial Quilt
• Rock Against Xenu
• Enemas for a Cause
• Pledge Drive For Ron McDonald’s House, No, Not The Ronald McDonald House, Just This Guy Named Ron McDonald, Whose House Needs Some Work
• First Annual $500,000 By 4:00 PM Or We Start Killing Hostages Telethon
• Take-a-Penny, Leave-a-Penny

I got an email today from a fellow teacher with a bunch of cartoons.  Several of them I posted two years ago .  These are some new ones - at least new to me.  I hope you get a chuckle out of at least one of them.  Enjoy!

And whatever you do, make sure you follow this

Excuse the language in the next one - it was too funny to leave out.

Here’s a funny I thought I’d share with you.  There’s a graphic that goes with it, and I’ll add that later this evening - can’t do that from work.  I received this from my friend, Joy, this morning:

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. 
    
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?” 
 

“No, I had to stop drinking years ago”, the homeless woman told me. 
 
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” I asked. 
 
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said.  ”I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.” 
 

“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked. 
 
“Are you NUTS !” replied the h omeless woman.  ” I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!” 
 
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money.  Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my  husband and me tonight.” 
 
The homeless woman was shocked. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
 
I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”

Heather Mills is angry that people drink milk.  Really.  Supposedly ”meat, dairy and fish are principal causes of global environmental collapse.”  I kid you not.  That’s what they claim.  The full story is HERE, but here’s the quote.  Don’t you just love it?

“We are the only species that drinks another person’s milk, so why aren’t we drinking rat’s milk, or dog’s milk, or cat’s milk, that’s how crazy it is,” she said.

“It’s mad that we are having cow’s milk. Even cows don’t drink it after one year but we continue forever.”

According to this story, a man in India married a dog to atone for his sin of stoning two other dogs.  He felt he was cursed, and that marrying the dog would make things all better.
I don’t know about that.  Couldn’t he have just donated money to the local ASPCA or simply kept the dog as a very well tended pet?  Either way, that poor dog probably doesn’t sleep too well at night knowing what happened to the previous two dogs.

One of the commenters on the story that I linked to above wrote, “Dang man, your wife’s a dog!”  I got a chuckle out of that.

I’m home from work today, and the TV is on.  I rarely watch “The View” but it’s what’s on TV right now.  Whoopi Goldberg is celebrating her birthday.  So she just showed an Elmo doll, and announced that everyone in the studio audience would receive a free Elmo doll today.  Now Oprah gave each of her audience a free car a few years back, and audiences have received other gifts - both large and small . . . but an Elmo doll!

Can you imagine the audience reaction.  All the things that people give away on TV, and on the one day they’re in the audience of “The View” they get an Elmo!  I’ve been laughing ever since that segment aired.  They should get a free t-shirt, too: “I waited months to be in the audience of “The View” and all I got for my trouble was an Elmo doll.”

What’s the reading level of YOUR blog?  I figured that since I’m a teacher, my blog would be at least college level.  Nope - not even close.   Here’s a cool link where you can input your blog URL, and it will check it out and let you know the reading level.  Here’s mine:

I’m okay with that.  I’ve heard that the typical reading level of newspapers and magazines for adults is fifth grade.   For fun, I checked the reading level for my English major sister at  Daddy’s Roses -  she’s the one who loves all the quirks and nuances of the English language (using the word “nuances” should bump me up to high school, I would think!) and she came out as college - grad school level!  Oh well….

Tiari-nod to Beth at MVRWC.

My friend, JeNan, sent me the following. It has been making the email rounds. I have no idea who originated it. It’s pretty funny, though. Enjoy!

HEADLINES OF 2006
Crack Found on Governor’s Daughter
[hmm!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Do they ever read what they write?]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's somet hing stronger tha n duct tape?!]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[Did I read that sign right?]