Archive for the 'Life’s Absurdities' Category

Man uses chainsaw to divide house in divorce settlement!

Friday, March 9th, 2007

If you can’t settle things amicably, you can always follow this guy’s example.  It might decrease the re-sale value, though.

Man Chainsaws House in Two for Divorce


BERLIN (March 9) – A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house — which was some 26 feet long and 6 meters wide — before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

“The man said he was just taking his due,” said a police spokesman. “But I don’t think his wife was too pleased.”

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother’s house where he has since been staying.

 Gee, you don’t think his immaturity and anger issues might have had anything to do with the marriage ending, do you?

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Heather Mills asks for $20,000 per DAY in divorce from Paul McCartney

Friday, March 9th, 2007

One of the news stories I  listened to this morning on my way to work was the one about Heather Mills asking for $20,000 a DAY in her divorce settlement from Paul McCartney.  Just give me a week’s worth of that kind of settlement, and I’d be happy!  A month’s worth, and I’d be deliriously happy. 

TWENTY THOUSAND dollars a day!   Isn’t that just a tad greedy?  They’ve only been married a few years.  She sure wasn’t a part of why he made all that money.  She wasn’t there backing him up when he was at the height of his career.  She can’t base her request on that.

I had written earlier that they had no children together.  However, a commenter wrote that she was almost certain they did.  I looked it up.  They do:

On 28 October 2003, Mills McCartney gave birth to the couple’s only child together, a daughter, Beatrice Milly McCartney. The baby was named after Heather’s late mother Beatrice and Sir Paul’s Aunt Milly

So they DO have a child together.  That changed my opinion of whether or not Heather should get money from Paul McCartney.  She should certainly get child support.  I still think, though, that $20,000 a day is excessive for ANYBODY.

There is just something about Heather Mills that seems insincere and tacky to me.  I’m not sure what it is.   She will be on the next “Dancing With the Stars,” and maybe she agreed to do the show in order to make her public image a little more positive.  Right now, though, I just don’t like her.

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O.J. throws his sperm. . .er I mean HAT into the ring of potential fathers of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby

Thursday, March 8th, 2007

This story gets weirder and weirder.  According to O.J. Simpson, he may have impregnated Anna Nicole Smith.  I guess he just hasn’t gotten enough publicity lately, and since Anna Nicole is dead and can’t dispute it, he may as well jump into the ring, too. 

The former American footballer has allegedly told documentary film maker Norman Pardo that he was ‘throwing his hat into the ring’ in the ongoing custody battle.

Pardo told the New York Post: ‘He (OJ) said he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father.’

SLOW-MOVING SPERM?  I guess he characterizes his sperm as slow-moving since a long period of time had passed since he allegedly had sex with ANS.  Or maybe that is his way of explaining how s-l-o-w-m-o-v-i-n-g he was in recognizing the opportunity to gain a little publicity and maybe even money via Anna Nicole’s untimely death.

Pardo also claims O J said: ‘I hope they don’t do a DNA test on Anna Nicole’s baby. If they find out Dannielynn is mine, I don’t want Fred Goldman trying to seize her money – or the baby herself.’

Now isn’t THAT the epitomy of absolute lack of class?  He’s like that other sleaze-ball (one of the Gabor sisters’ husband) who piped up about possibly fathering Dannielyn.

Simpson starred with the Playboy model in ‘Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult’ in 1994 and Pardo filmed with him from 2000 to 2005.

You know, I just wonder how Simpson found time to be with Anna Nicole Smith – when he was supposedly spending all his time looking for the murderer of his wife, Nicole – searching all those golf courses and bars – when DID he find time for ANS?

 Tiara tip to Linda.

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Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

I just read one of the best posts on Al Gore and his “Inconvenient Truth” crap that I’ve ever read.  It was written by Beth’s “Beloved Curmudgeon.”  Here’s a taste:

Ol Al wants to help the environment by asking all of us to reduce our carbon footprint thereby doing our part for the climate. Good idea Al, maybe you can start by reducing the dimension of just your regular footprint. Have you seen the size of this guy? He is rapidly becoming the poster child for morbid obesity. The best thing he could do for the environment is to back off the grub a little bit and give the rest of the food chain a break.

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Britney Spears reminds me of Anna Nicole Smith – and I wish I had prayed for her

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

A couple weeks ago, immediately after hearing of Anna Nicole Smith’s death, I read a thoughtful post by Baldilocks in which she writes about someone who said that after hearing the sad news of her death, they wished they had prayed for Anna Nicole.  One could see her world spiraling out of control.  The loss of her son immediately after the birth of her daughter, all the people clamoring for a piece of her celebrity and money.  Was there anyone who loved her for herself and not for what they could get from her?

The recent news about Britney Spears – her panty-less flashing of press cameras, shaving her head, hard partying with friends, questionable parenting skills, and rapid-fire in and out of rehab – have left me feeling the same way about Britney.  She appears to be out of control, and it looks like nothing short of something drastic will bring her back to common sense.  She’s just a kid – thrust into a 24/7 spotlight of attention.  I sure hope she finds her way back to integrity, humility and care for her children.

Maybe we all should be praying for her – before, God forbid, she ends up like ANS.

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How Congress Shows Respect for American Soldiers

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

This cartoon is classic.  As the saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.”  The dems don’t understand that they can’t expect people to believe their rhetoric about how they “respect and honor” American soldiers while at the same time speaking words and actions that actually help the terrorists and cause more deaths and injuries to our troops.

Tiara-tip to Darleen.

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An Open Letter to Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi – from Charlie Daniels

Sunday, February 18th, 2007

An Open Letter to Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi

Dear Sir and Madam:

You have said often enough that you don’t believe in the war in Iraq and that you want to bring the troops home. Yet all you do is talk and sign non-binding resolutions which only goes to show that you really don’t mean what you say about ending the war or that you’re just playing political games and in doing so giving aid and comfort to a dedicated enemy.

Now if you’re serious about ending the war you have the means and the votes to do just that. Simply cut off the funding for the troops, bring them all home and the American people can transfer the deed to this war and the ramifications of what you do to the Democrat party and you can live with the results.

You say you support the troops, but that has to be a lie. If you supported them and you truly think the war is wrong, you’d bring them home or either dispense with the poisonous rhetoric and get in behind them and help them get the job done.

You can’t have it both ways. If you support the troops do something. Your party won a majority in both houses, so you have control so take the responsibility.

Of course, I think you should remember that when the terrorists follow us home from Iraq and start their attacks on American soil it’s too late, so you’d better have a plan to deal with it. Do you have a plan?

And if Iran goes into Iraq and makes it a staging ground for Al Qaida to plan and carry out attacks all over the western world you’ll need to deal with that. Do you have a plan?

And if Iran decides to go into Kuwait and cut off the oil flow from the Persian Gulf, you’ll need a way to make up for the shortfall. Do you have a plan?

The world would look at us as a country that has not finished a commitment to war since 1945. Do you have a plan for dealing with that?

The purpose of this letter is to call your bluff. I don’t believe you have the guts to do anything but talk and talk is cheap. Oh you have no shortage of words but I seriously doubt the amount of backbone you have.

Do you really think that signing a non binding resolution is really fooling anybody into thinking you’re anything less than career politicians trying to tip the scales of the O08 Presidential Election.

What you’re doing is silly and dangerous. If you really don’t like what’s going on, change it, do something about it. You’ve got the power but have you got the guts?

Pray for our troops.

What do you think?

God Bless America
Charlie Daniels
February 16, 2007

Wow!  That says exactly what I believe.  With the dems it’s all about politics, politics and politics.  They back-stab and fill the airwaves with hateful rhetoric to try to ensure that the Bush plan will fail while still making themselves look politically good.  You can’t “support the troops” while spewing crap that makes the terrorists bolder and more confident and ends up getting more of our troops killed.  The troops don’t need THAT kind of suppport.  Dems, you can’t have it both ways. 

Tiara-tip to Linda at Something …and Half of Something.  Also at A Mom and Her Blog and Blue Star Chronicles.

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T. R. Knight to quit “Grey’s Anatomy” over Isaiah Washington’s use of a “homosexual slur.”

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

T.R. Knight, who plays George on Grey’s Anatomy, is apparently planning on quitting the show because of the furor over Isaiah Washington’s use of a “homosexual slur.”  That seems rather amusing to me.  Why would Knight quit? A fellow castmate calls him a name, and he quits his job?  What a wuss!  Actually, not a wuss – an attention-seeker.  “Poor T.R.  Someone picked on him.  So he won’t play anymore.”  He needs to grow some balls and tell Washington where to go, and then get on with his life.  One spoken “F” word should not shape his career path.

From CBS News:

NEW YORK (Jan. 29) – According to reports surfacing on the Internet, T.R. Knight is planning to leave “Grey’s Anatomy” over the scandal that has erupted around the homosexual slur directed at him by fellow cast member Isaiah Washington.’s The Scoop reported that Knight, who plays Dr. George O’Malley on the show, is upset over the way the incident was handled after Washington used the slur in October.

According to The Scoop, Knight was told to keep quiet about the incident. Washington, who plays Dr. Preston Burke, denied using the word about the openly-gay Knight at the Golden Globe awards, prompting outrage from the cast. Knight later appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” and said that Washington absolutely used the word.

“He (Knight) kept his word, but then the whole thing blew up again at the Golden Globes, and when he was asked about it, he basically called Isaiah a liar,” a source told The Scoop. “He feels that the atmosphere there is so toxic and unhealthy. I suppose things could change and we would stay, but for now, he’s planning to leave the show.”

After much backlash, including an online petition for ABC to fire Washington, he entered counseling to deal with his behavior. At the Screen Actors’ Guild awards last night, co-star Chandra Wilson thanked all “10 cast members” when she gave her acceptance speech for female actor in a drama series. She also added “and the other one in rehab.”

The cast of “Grey’s Anatomy” won for best ensemble in a drama series, and they all appeared to enjoy Wilson’s joke.

Meanwhile, the New York Daily News reported that former coworkers have said that Washington isn’t a homophobe, but merely a hot-head.

While staring with Washington in August Wilson’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play “Fences,” actress Madeline McCray witnessed him punch a fellow actor who was straight and African-American, a source told the paper.

“It’s that his anger leads him to say and do things he wishes he hadn’t — to everybody. He’s always had a lack of control over his temper,” the source said. “I worked with Isaiah, and there were some difficulties. He lost his temper and had a physical altercation with one of the other male actors backstage. The actor missed his cue a couple of times, and Isaiah couldn’t control himself.

“Isaiah wants it to be perfect. He is a professional, and he expects everybody else to be on their mark, too. But when we’re adults, we can’t just allow our anger to get the best of us. He’s got to get a handle on it. He’s jeopardizing the incredible opportunity he’s been given — a distinguished role in a hit show created by an African-American woman.”

The Daily News also reported that Washington had a meltdown in 2000 against his “Soul Food” co-star, director and producer Tracey Edmonds. He also lost a job on “High Incident” in 1997 after a fight with crew member, which was severe enough to prompt someone to call the police.

McCray told the Daily News that she is “just really happy that he’s going to stand up and take responsibility and fix this.”

People just need to get a thick skin sometimes.  Sure, no one should be called a name.  But this happened in October, for heaven’s sake!  Get over it and move on.  T.R. Knight and the chick who plays Izzie have made a big deal out of something that happened months ago.  (And, speaking of Izzie,   has there EVER been a more lame character than Izzie?   She kills a patient, she inherits 8 million dollars from the guy she killed, and she’s allowed to return to the hospital, and she cooks muffins all the time.  Really – they need to at least try to make her character realistic in some small way).

So Washington is a hothead and he’s not particularly bright since he obviously hasn’t learned how to think before speaking.   He has apologized.  He has started counseling. Move on.

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The Patriotic Terrorist

Sunday, January 28th, 2007

At The Huffington Post, Greg Gutfeld has written a thoughtful post that is generating quite a stir among leftwingers.  Reading the comments to his post is almost more fun than reading the post.  Leftwingers never cease to confirm that they can be the most venomous and vile commenters. 

Here’s what Gutfeld’s wrote:

Whenever I visit this lovely blog, I usually run into someone – a “leftist,” if you will – who finds pleasure in things that make our country or the President look bad. I suppose I could say these angry types are no better than cheerleaders for terrorism. After all, both entities – the left and terrorists – seem to share the same desire: to put the US, humiliatingly, in its place.

But I would be wrong to say such things. Very wrong. Of course, “dissent is patriotic,” and the left is only critical of America because it simply loves our country much more than I do.

That’s why calling them terrorists would be intolerant and pretty shameful.

But what about “patriotic terrorists?”

That’s kinda neat.

What is a patriotic terrorist?

It is an American who claims to love his or her country while enjoying the enemy’s success against said country. It is a person who gets deeply offended if you question their patriotism, while also appearing to share the same ideals of the more spirited folk who like to blow up innocent people.

Patriotic terrorists love America with so much intensity that it appears to the untrained eye that they hate it. But it’s actually the most powerful form of “tough love” known to man, woman and Rosie O’Donnell. Patriotic terrorists love America so much that they realize it needs an intervention – and real terror is the only way to enable that intervention. In fact, to keep a mammoth, arrogant superpower like America in check, terrorism is the only thing we’ve got. Noam Chomsky knew this from the start, making him a patriotic terrorist of the highest order.

This is why he gets the chicks.

Hey, I bet you’ve probably wondered why Al Qaeda hasn’t struck in the US since 9/11. They don’t have to. It has its own offshoot franchise here at work already. Patriotic Terrorists.

Think about how much both groups have in common!

-Both patriotic terrorists and Al Qaeda want the US to abandon Iraq, for that reveals Bush and America to be monstrous, laughable failures. It does not matter to either group that the withdrawal from Iraq will make post-Vietnam look like an afternoon at Ikea shopping for a Hoggbo innerspring mattress.

-For patriotic terrorists and real terrorists, car bombs going off is music to their ears. It proves that you can’t offer democracy to troubled countries, as long as you’ve got terrorists standing in your way. And that’s great news for everyone who believes in checks and balances between the haves and the have nots! (Note: “haves” means the US. “Have nots” means those who hate the US)

-Patriotic terrorists and the more committed terrorists both believe that infractions at Guantanamo Bay are far worse than anything a genocidal dictator could muster, and such horrors possess far more PR potential in denigrating the US than anything involving Ed Begley Jr.

-Both patriotic terrorists and Al Qaeda terrorists believe the US desires to control the Middle East, empower evil Israel and expand it’s power base at the expense of innocent Arab lives. But both groups also realize that the US is too stupid to achieve these goals – and that makes being a patriotic terrorist loads of fun!

Are you a patriotic terrorist?

If you are intensely critical of the US, while tolerating homicidal enemies who condemn everything you previously claimed you are for – human rights, voting rights, gay rights, women’s rights, porn – then you’re a patriotic terrorist.

If you talk about tolerance constantly – and hilariously tolerate genocide and suicide bombers because those actions undermine your more intimate opposition, the American right – then you’re a patriotic terrorist.

The only difference between a patriotic terrorist and a real one? Real terrorists are simply patriotic terrorists who’ve taken the extra step – choosing to actually die for their beliefs – rather than simply talking about them at Spago. If Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Michael Moore, and their ilk had real cojones, they’d all be wearing cute black vests – but stuffed with more than dog-eared copies of Deterring Democracy.

Hat tip Blue Star Chronicles.  Read more commentary there and also at Something…and a Half of Something.

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Let me have a dough-nut with extra caffeine, please

Friday, January 26th, 2007

On the way to work this morning, I heard a news report that they’ve discovered how to add caffeine to pastries such as doughnuts and Danishes.  Is that something that people want or need?  Are there people who can’t take the time to drink their coffee or Diet Coke or tea or Red Bull in order to get caffeine?  They must add it to their doughnuts, too?

So I came home and looked it up on the internet.  The story was right.  Here’s the story:

AP) DURHAM. N.C. That cup of coffee just not getting it done anymore? How about a Buzz Donut or a Buzzed Bagel? That’s what Doctor Robert Bohannon, a Durham, North Carolina, molecular scientist, has come up with. Bohannon says he’s developed a way to add caffeine to baked goods, without the bitter taste of caffeine. Each piece of pastry is the equivalent of about two cups of coffee.

While the product is not on the market yet, Bohannon has approached some heavyweight companies, including Krispy Kreme, Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks about carrying it.

I’m not sure why, but that’s funny to me!  Adding caffeine to pastries!  What’ll they think of next?

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