They’re the dancing Marlins, the two tons of fun, and the team has to feed them more so they won’t lose weight with all the exercise they’re getting. “Why have a six-pack when you can have a keg?” asked one of them.
They’re the plus size all-male Marlin cheerleader squad, and they’re hot.
An all-male cheerleader squad has created a big splash even before it takes the field Monday for the Florida Marlins’ regular season opener against the New York Mets at Dolphin Stadium.
The story of the Manatees began the way a lot of stories start these days: with an Internet pop-up ad.
The pitch on this one was catchier than most: “The Florida Marlins are looking for the biggest bellies with the biggest jiggle, the biggest feet with the best dance moves… ”
The Marlins were trying to launch a new form of between-inning entertainment, a first for Major League Baseball: an all-male, all-overweight dance squad. They would be called The Manatees.
More than a dozen regular dudes responded to the ad.
That was a month ago.
That was before the weeks of sweat, sacrifice and dance training. That was before the guys, with names like Jeff, Tim and Mark, got their Manatee personas. These days, they go by ”Tank,” ”Flash,” and “Chocolate Thunder.”
On Monday, the day of the Marlins’ home opener against the New York Mets, the Manatees are set to run onto the field before an audience of thousands. Backed by a rock and hip-hop soundtrack, the team members are revving to get their dance on with choreographed barrages of hip gyrations and butt bumps, finger snaps and he-man variations on jazz hands. Chocolate Thunder even does a split at the end of the routine.
But even before their on-field debut, the Manatees’ pop-culture appeal has caught on at a national level.
After the squad’s first dress rehearsal under the lights of Dolphin Stadium in late March, the Manatees’ choreographer, Vanessa Martinez (who works as a radio station promotions manager by day), made an announcement to the huddled, sweating team members:
“You guys are a big deal. You guys are beloved. And we are going to be on the CBS morning show!”
Woooooooooo! Twelve big men let out a thunderous, collective cheer.
But some of the Manatees looked like they didn’t fully grasp what their trainer had just told them. Larry Locker, the field director, clarified.
”You guys are going on national TV,” he said.
Rodriguez added to the momentum: “They requested to talk to one baseball player, but all of the Manatees!”
Tim Koteff, a k a ”Flash,” took a step back toward the Marlins’ third base line in the empty stadium, twin jumbo-trons twinkling above him.
”We finally made it to the big leagues! Woooo!” he yelled.
FREE TICKETS
For Koteff, and in fact, the rest of the Manatees, announcements like that are what they’ve been working for. Other than free tickets to home games, they’re in it for the fun.
”I have my law degree — but I’d rather be here doing this,” said Koteff, 47.
The fun, and perhaps, the fame.
In addition to their scheduled appearance on The Early Show, the Manatees have been live on Fox, in the pages of The Miami Herald, Los Angeles Times and even did a photo shoot with The New York Times. Jokes about them have even appeared in late night comedians’ monologues. NBC’s Conan O’Brien joked: “They’ll be called the Marlin Brandos.”
While the Manatees may be barreling toward a probable 15 minutes of fame, most of the team members have been too busy practicing to worry much about the limelight. After all, before they came to the first rehearsal, most of the Manatees had never taken a dance class.
”I think most of our dancing experience comes from weddings,” Koteff said.
Rodriguez said she had to teach the men how to count all over again: One, two — snap, snap — three, four — and turn! With two practices a week over the past month, learning a half-dozen dances, the Manatees have been getting more exercise than they’re used to.
”If they make us keep this up, we won’t qualify for next year’s squad,” said team member Gabe ”McLovin”’ Esquijarosa, 25. ‘I secretly think this is a plan by some TV show to get us to lose weight — you know, `the Marlins reaching out to the community’ or something like that.”
For the team’s senior member, Abraham ”The Big Rev.” Thomas, 61, who has six grandkids, the team meetings leave him sore for days.
”After practice, I have to stay in bed for at least a day. I sleep with oxygen,” he said. ‘I can’t bend as low as the other guys, can’t move as fast — but it’s a real wholesome activity — if it makes someone happy, it’s worth it. And the fans are going to see me, a senior citizen, doing this. Hopefully they’ll think, `score one for the disabled and the old folk!’ ”
Even though it would be difficult to mistake a Manatee for a member of the Mermaids (the Marlins’ professional cheerleading team), the distinction — just ask any old-time mariner — is more difficult than some would expect.
THE MERMAIDS
As the group of pert young Marlins’ Mermaids stood on the sidelines at the Manatees’ first on-field dress rehearsal, they dropped their pompoms and watched with wide eyes.
They squealed in delight after every slap and guttural yell from the twirling and belly-flashing Manatees.
When the music stopped, one of the cheerleaders shouted a compliment, `Hey! Nice workout!”
Manatee Joseph Love, a k a ”Big Love,” shouted back: “Yeah! Now where’s the beer!”
I like to play golf, but my son LOVES to play golf. Each year, he and his best friend head to Augusta to see part of the Masters. This is a banner year for the Master. This was Gary Player’s FIFTY-FIRST year there. What an incredible record!
