A few days ago I wrote that my upcoming sixtieth birthday was distressing to me. Sixty is like a line of demarcation. Once you’re on the back side of sixty, you know without a doubt you’re well into the second half of your life. Okay, you really knew that when you turned 50 - even 40, but you could convince yourself that you’d be one of those folks who live to be 80, 90 or 100. However, celebrating a 120th birthday is beyond the scope of even the most wildly optimistic mind. So I was feeling a little blue about being 60 years old.

Then someone left me a link to Kalyn’s Kitchen. Kalyn celebrated her 60th birthday last December by writing about the 60 things she’s learned in 60 years. Lord knows I’ve learned a lot so far in my life. So, with due regards to Kalyn for the idea, here are my “60 Things I’ve Learned in Sixty Years.”

1. Watching birds on a bird feeder gives one a sense of serenity.
2. It is easier to just DO whatever needs to be done rather than spend time planning to do it.
3. Even when you consciously cherish every possible moment of raising your children, their childhoods still go by much too quickly.
4. Grandchildren might possibly be life’s greatest joy.
5. Outdoor kittens are the perfect pets - for me, at least. Plus they’re great for keeping mice away from the house.
6. Just because I’m not a “dog person” doesn’t mean I’m a bad person - just a person who doesn’t particularly care for dogs. Still, I am glad we have Jake because of the security he provides - even though he takes any piece of paper he can find and shreds it all over the yard. He’s Ron’s dog - so I don’t have to clean up after him.
7. Life can change forever in a second - for the better or for the worse.
8. There is a “world of cancer” that most people are only vaguely aware of - if at all. It’s a world quite different from the world of people who aren’t dealing directly with cancer. It makes me wonder about the other “worlds” out there that I know little, if anything, about.
9. You can handle a lot more than you ever thought you could.
10. Listening to gospel music is both uplifting and comforting - and it brings back a lot of memories.
11. It is worth the time and effort to sit down together as a family for a meal each day - even if “sitting down” consists of side-by-side recliners in front of the TV.
12. While I have done things in my life that I regret, my life likely wouldn’t be as good as it is now if I hadn’t had those regrettable experiences.
13. Sometimes actions that make perfect sense at the time seem ridiculous a few years on down the road.
14. When it comes to blogs and online networking sites, it is better not to respond when someone you love writes something you strongly disagree with. Even though I know this to be true, I don’t always do it.
15. It takes a certain personality to be a salesperson - and I don’t have that certain personality.
16. Timewise, teaching is a great profession for a parent. Money-wise, not so much.
17. Waking early, sipping a cup of coffee and easing into the day is a great way to start the day.
18. Being trustworthy is right at the top of the list of the most important character traits. If you can’t be trusted, traits such as kindness and generosity don’t mean much.
19. It is fun and makes you feel special to find a 4-leaf clover. Some people have a knack for finding them.
20. I am glad I’ve had lots of grand adventures in the past sixty years that I can think about with a smile.
21. It is good to look forward to still more grand adventures in the future.
22. Once you’ve been on a children’s oncology floor of a hospital and watched kids getting infusions of chemo, going to the dentist is no longer a big deal.
23. Keeping a camera in the car is helpful. You never know when you’ll want or need to photograph something.
24. It is okay to go through short-lived (or long-lived) phases. At various times in my life I’ve been crazy about quilting, growing roses, making soap, biking, blogging, running, eating grapefruit. The craze always ends, and I move on to something else. Each phase, though, has been fun and I’ve learned from it.
25. Watching a cat stalking birds under a bird feeder is a lesson in patience.
26. Watching a cat play with an animal it has caught is a lesson in nature’s cruelty.
27. Memorizing one’s debit card number makes it easy to make impulse purchases.
28. Being a parent is a life-time job. Even when the kids are grown and on their own, you will worry about them and hurt for them and rejoice with them.
29. One of the purest and tenderest experiences in the world is watching a baby or small child fall asleep in your arms.
30. Just about anything tastes better when it’s grilled outdoors.
31. Good intentions and cloudy thinking are a dangerous combination.
32. One of my greatest satisfactions is preparing a meal that people really enjoy.
33. A cluttered environment leads to stress.
34. The song really does remember when. (Trisha Yearwood - “The Song Remembers When”)
35. It is true that the only person we can really control is ourselves.
36. Most problems that we have are the result of choices we have made. If we want to change things, we have to start making different choices.
37. The “little things” count in a relationship.
38. Don’t buy a cheap mattress. Getting a good night’s sleep affects every other aspect of your life.
39. Perseverance is needed to succeed at any endeavor - whether it’s maintaining a garden, learning a new language, cleaning the house, losing weight or feeding birds.
40. You have to pick your battles in raising children, getting along with your spouse, and working with colleagues.
41. If you make yourself go through the physical motion of smiling when you are upset, it is easier to stop feeling upset.
42. A good night’s sleep makes everything seem better.
43. Traditions are important - but not all-important.
44. Reading is the most multi-dimensional activity I can think of. Through reading we can experience things beyond our physical circumstances or limitations.
45. Baskets are an easy way to de-clutter. Put stacks of magazines and books in baskets, and voila! They’re organized and neat.
46. If you’re feeling down and depressed, either do something for someone else or take a walk. Either one will make you feel better.
47. Ice cream is quite possibly the best tasting food in the world - especially Blue Bell’s Homemade Vanilla ice cream with a little chocolate syrup drizzled on it.
48. It is true that you’re more likely to regret the things you don’t do more than the things you do.
49. There are some seriously mixed up people in the world, and once you’ve identified them, it’s best to steer clear of them.
50. Cherish today because in a few years you’ll consider it part of the good old days.
51. Don’t ever say anything in anger that you wouldn’t want your mom or pastor to overhear.
52. Memorizing poems, songs and stories makes it possible to entertain yourself at times.
53. In making decisions, family always comes first.
54. A reaction to poison ivy really CAN become systemic.
55. There are aspects of each season of the year that I love: Winter = able to hike through woods without fearing poison ivy; spring = all the shades of green; summer = no school; fall = cooler weather.
56. You can teach an old dog new tricks - it just takes more time and effort.
57. Computers are incredible time savers and incredible time wasters.
58. Sometimes people who should know better, don’t.
59. Keeping a journal is a good practice because even if you think there are some things you’ll never forget, after enough years go by, you’ll forget. Not everything, of course, but you’d be surprised how many things you forget.
60. When you’re feeling a little sad about getting older, it helps to write about the things you’ve learned so far in your life.

I went to high school in the 60’s - a happy time for me. Now, I am a few days away from my 60th birthday - my own version of the 60’s. And it’s not a happy feeling. Yes, of course it is better than the alternative. Really, though, once you’re sixty there is no pretending that you’re still young. I enjoyed my 40’s and my 50’s. I celebrated my 40th and 50th birthdays happily. “Age is just a number,” I’d declare. However, the birthday I’ll celebrate on Wednesday of this week isn’t one I look forward to. I proudly told people my age when I was in my 40’s and 50’s. I am embarrassed to tell people that I will be sixty in a few days. I don’t want to celebrate. Don’t want any gifts - no birthday cake - no whoop-de-do about the day. Yikes! 60 years old! That’s the pits.

Today is Lily’s eighth birthday! My goodness, where has the time gone? I remember so well the day she was born. Early this morning, I drove over to her house and tied balloons to the mailbox, along with a card for her to find when she woke up. I started doing that a few years ago, and now the girls look for their balloons each year on their birthdays. They both love it.

Lily, the day she got her head shaved

Lily blowing out the candle on her birthday cupcake

Yesterday, on my way back to TN from visiting my mother in Georgia, I stopped at the pet adoption center in Murfreesboro where I met Lily and Sophie and Larisa. There they bought their new dog, Rosie, a chihuahua. Rosie will be Lily’s and Sophie’s dog - it’s the only thing Lily really wanted for her birthday. Rosie will be good for Lily. Since Lily has to spend so much time at home, she’ll be there to train Rosie and be with her. Rosie is full-grown, but she is small - about 9 pounds, I believe. Rosie will join her new canine siblings, Bogey and Maggie.

For her birthday gift from us, Ron and I got her a camera. A very nice camera, I might add. She has had a “children’s camera” before. However, this one isn’t one made for children. She’ll be able to take photos and edit them on her computer. She has a creative eye for photography, and it is a good hobby for her to develop while she is at home so much.

Lily has faced more challenges in the past few months than any of us could have imagined. She has handled the enormous curve ball of leukemia with grace, humor and kindness. I love her more than I could ever express.

Happy Birthday, my precious, precious Lily.

Today is Sunshine’s 6th birthday. Early this morning I tied a bouquet of balloons on their mailbox. Larisa said she was awakened by the sound of the alarm beep - indicating someone had opened an outside door. It was Sophie - heading out to get her balloon bouquet.

Sophie has such a unique personality. She is definitely her own person with a loving nature and a strong will. She is quite an athlete. She often makes multiple goals in her soccer games.

Sophie going ALL OUT playing soccer, Spring 2009

She’s an athlete, but she is also a girly-girl. She loves everything pink - and loves to have her nails painted. When she wants to be, she is the most dainty girl imaginable. WHEN she wants to be.

Sophie may be an all-out athlete, but she is also a girl girl!

So she has her athletic side, her girly-girl side, and she also has her tender and loving side. She is an expert cuddler, and has the sweetest smile in the world. Since her big sister, Lily, was diagnosed with lleukemia a few months ago, Sophie has shown maturity beyond her years in handling the challenges associated with Lily’s diagnosis. Her love for her sister is obvious to everyone.

Sophie shows her tender side by reading a book to Lily - soon after Lily was diagnosed with leukemia

Happy birthday, my precious Sophie.

Today is my mother’s birthday. My mother is a blogger - Ruthlace is a wonderful blog in which she writes often of growing up in the 1920’s and 1930’s. She writes about her experiences during the Great Depression and during World War II, her years as a young wife and mother, as a preacher’s wife, and the mother of seven children. I’ve learned so much from reading her blog.

I’ve written about my mother’s birthday on previous years. The first year I had this blog, I wrote a rather detailed post for her birthday. One year I wrote eighty-three things about my mother. I won’t give away her age, but this year I could have written eight-six things about her. Here are some photos from previous birthday posts:

This next photo is of my mother as a young woman.

And this next photo was taken a few years ago - my mother with my siblings and me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOTHER!p>

Most of this is a re-post from last December 31st. I’ve updated a few things, though.

Today is Larisa’s birthday. It has been a stressful birthday for my precious daughter. It was Lily’s second clinic day. Larisa has said repeatedly that the only thing she wants for her birthday is for Lily’s final labs for this week to come back with zero leukemia cells. We will find out the tentative lab results on Friday and the final lab results on Monday.

So, more than any other year, I am holding precious Larisa in my thoughts and prayers on her birthday today.

On December 31, 1974, RT and I were thrilled to become the parents of our precious Larisa, affectionately nicknamed Stinkeroo by her Grandshaw. Before her birth, RT and I would listen to her heartbeat with a stethoscope. 1974 was before the days of periodic sonograms. So we had no idea whether or not our baby would be a boy or a girl until after the birth. We went into the labor room at the hospital knowing that we’d either walk out with a Paul or a Larisa - we didn’t know which. Ever since I had seen the movie Dr. Zhivago, I knew that I wanted to name the daughter I hoped to have someday Larisa. For awhile we toyed around with calling her by the nickname for Larisa - Lara - but then decided to stick with Larisa. When she was born and we found out that our first child was a girl, we were so happy and we knew immediately her name. The baby was our Larisa that we had been looking forward to for years. She was basically bald for the first three years of her life, but as she grew, she also grew dark curly hair and beautiful brown eyes. She was happy and energetic and a parent’s dream. She thoroughly wrapped her dad and me around her little finger.

The above photo is one of my favorites. It shows her enthusiastic and mischievous nature. I’ve always loved her smile.

This picture is also a favorite. It shows Larisa with her younger brother, Joey. The pigtails were typical. She was an athletic go-getter child - always interested in life, sports, being with friends, and she was/is a great sister to her brother. They had their spats, but have always remained close to each other.

This is how she often slept as a baby - on her back with her arms flung out to her sides. As in everything, she put herself wholeheartedly into sleep, too. She was confident and happy.

This is one of the photos from her wedding to Steve - along with their “baby” (at the time), Caesar. Caesar passed on to doggie heaven quite a few years ago, and they now have two human babies - my wonderful grandgirls - pictured below.

I first wrote about Stinkeroo’s birthday on December 31, 2005, and then on December 31, 2006, I wrote about her again. I hope you have a wonderful birthday, my precious Larisa! Most of all, I hope you get her birthday wish.

About today, December 31, 2008. I was up early in order to be at Larisa and Steve’s house to pick up Sophie at 6:45. Sophie would spend the day with me while Steve and Larisa took Lily for her “clinic” at the hospital. Today would be the big day for Lily - a lumbar puncture and bone marrow aspiration to determine her blood counts, and to make sure that there are zero leukemia cells in her bone marrow. Results won’t be known for a few days.

One thing that was very clear to me today is how much Sophie loves her mother. Of course I already knew that both girls absolutely adore their mother. However, Sophie was so happy to be able to help me prepare dinner for them and then get a cake, birthday balloons candles for the cake and make little apple tarts as a special treat - since Lily loves apple pie so much. Sophie was just ecstatic in her excitement over preparing some birthday surprises for her mother. Sweet, sweet, sweet.

This is the fourth year that I’ve celebrated my son’s birthday on The Median Sib. 2005, 2006, 2007 and now 2008. This year is a little different, though, because this year my baby - my youngest child - is thirty.

Thirty years ago today, I woke up early and realized that labor was starting. RT and I called my sister, Joan, to come get our daughter, Larisa, so we could go to the hospital. Back then, people didn’t know the sex of the baby before it was born. So we were anxious not only for the birth of the baby but to finally find out if we had a son or another daughter. We would have been thrilled to have another girl, but I believe we both wanted a boy so we’d have one of each gender.

Up until a couple weeks earlier we had planned on naming a boy Paul Benjamin. Then, however, we came up with the name Joseph Thomas - and we couldn’t decide which name to use. So in the hospital, after our son was born, we had to make the decision: Would he be Paul or would he be Joseph. We decided on Joseph Thomas, and it fit him perfectly. He is our Joey - a light in our lives that brings joy to every day.

Thirty years! Last night we celebrated his birthday at his party - given by his beautiful wife, Meleah, at their home. Some of his childhood friends were there - with their respective spouses. Some already have their own children. Meleah’s parents were there. As a parent, it is supremely rewarding to see one’s child as a wonderfully caring and responsible adult.

Happy birthday, Joey. I love you immensely.

August 26th - my birthday. They’re coming awfully fast now. This is my 59th birthday celebration, and tonight the kids and grandkids will take me out to dinner to celebrate. I’m looking forward to it. My mother wrote about my birthday at her blog, Ruthlace, and it was a very tender and sweet thing to read. Thank you, Mother.

The Median Sib - mid-1950’s

So happy birthday to me. And it WILL be a happy birthday. Today is Sunshine’s first full day of kindergarten. She’ll be at my school all day, and when the school day is over, she and Sweet Stuff will come to my classroom to go home with me. And thus it will be this year. On most afternoons I will see the faces of the two most precious little girls in the world as we head home from school together. THAT is one of the greatest blessings in the world.

Fifty-nine. I remember growing up and thinking about the year 2000 and how far away it was. I’d think, “I’ll turn 51 in 2000. That’s so old!” Now my 51st year is way back down the road in the rear view mirror, and I’m entering the 60th year of my life. I feel very optimistic. It’s going to be a good year.

Yesterday on the way home from the school, I mentioned to the grandgirls that today would have been my father’s 89th birthday.

Sweet Stuff: “He never got to know us.”
Sunshine: “No, he doesn’t know us.”
Me: “And that’s one of the saddest things I know of. Grandshaw would have loved you so much. He would have loved seeing you and knowing you.” My voice started cracking before I could even finish.

It’s indicative of the power of the parent-child relationship that over 21 years after my father’s death, I still tear up thinking about how much I miss him. I would so love for him to see what wonderful adults my children have become. They were just children - in second and sixth grades - when he died. Now they’re grown - and the grandgirls are here: Sweet Stuff is about to finish first grade, and next year Sunshine will be kindergarten. How I wish my father could see and shower my little grandgirls with his unconditional love. And it is truly one of the saddest facts of my life that he is not still here.

A couple years ago, a classmate of my niece died - a little first grader. Haley cried and was upset, but then she said, “Well Anna Marie is alright, GrandShaw will take care of her.”

The world’s oldest known person turns 115 on Sunday, April 20, 2008, and she lives right here in the U.S.A. Her name is Edna Parker, and she has been a widow since her husband died in 1938. That’s EIGHTY years of being a widow. She has also outlived her two sons.

My sister, Janice, sent an email to our family with an article about how older people are generally happier. As people get older they learn to take things in stride and to enjoy what they have. That seems to be the case for Edna Parker.

Here’s the story:

Indiana Woman, Oldest Known Person, Turns 115 on Sunday
Associated Press
SHELBYVILLE, Ind. Maybe it was a lifetime of chores on the family farm that accounts for Edna Parker’s long life. Or maybe just good genes explain why the world’s oldest known person will turn 115 on Sunday, defying staggering odds.

Scientists who study longevity hope Parker and others who live to 110 or beyond - they’re called supercentenarians - can help solve the mystery of extreme longevity.

“We don’t know why she’s lived so long,” said Don Parker, her 59-year-old grandson. “But she’s never been a worrier and she’s always been a thin person, so maybe that has something to do with it.”

On Friday, Edna Parker laughed and smiled as relatives and guests released 115 balloons into sunny skies outside her nursing home. Dressed in pearls, a blue and white polka dot dress and new white shoes, she clutched a red rose during the festivities.

Two years ago, researchers from the New England Centenarian Study at Boston University took a blood sample from Parker for the group’s DNA database of supercentenarians.

Her DNA is now preserved with samples of about 100 other people who made the 110-year milestone and whose genes are being analyzed, said Dr. Tom Perls, an aging specialist who directs the project.

“They’re really our best bet for finding the elusive Holy Grail of our field - which are these longevity-enabling genes,” he said.

Only 75 living people - 64 women and 11 men - are 110 or older, according to the Gerontology Research Group of Inglewood, Calif., which verifies reports of extreme ages.

Parker, who was born April 20, 1893, was recognized by Guinness World Records as the oldest of that group last August after the death of a Japanese woman four months her senior.

A widow since her husband, Earl, died in 1938 of a heart attack, Parker lived alone in their farmhouse until age 100, when she moved into her son Clifford’s home. She cheated death a few months later.

One winter night, Clifford and his wife returned home from a high school basketball game to find her missing. Don, their son, says he discovered his grandmother in the snowy darkness near the farm’s apple orchard. He scooped up her rigid body and rushed back to the house.

“She was stiff as a 2-by-4. We really thought that was the end of her,” he said.

But Parker recovered fully, suffering only frostbitten fingertips.

Fifteen years later, her room at the Heritage House Convalescent Center in Shelbyville, Ind., about 25 miles southeast of Indianapolis, is adorned with teddy bears and photos of her five grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren and 13 great-great grandchildren. She’s outlived her two sons, Clifford and Earl Jr.

During a visit this week, Parker was captivated by a new album of photos and documents from her life that Don’s wife, Charlene, had assembled.

“That’s the boys,” she said hoarsely, tapping a photo of her two late sons in their youth. “Clifford and Junior.”

Her two sisters also are deceased. Georgia lived to be 99, while her sister Opal was 88 when she died.

Parker’s long-lived sisters are typical of other centenarians, according to Dr. Nir Barzilai, director of the Albert Einstein College of Medicine’s Institute for Aging Research in New York. Nearly all of them have a sister, mother or other relative who lived a long life, he said.

“Longevity is in the family history,” Barzilai said.

He and other scientists have found several genetic mutations in centenarians that may play a role in either slowing the aging process or boosting resistance to age-related diseases.

Perls said the secret to a long life is now believed to be a mix of genetics and environmental factors such as health habits. He said his research on about 1,500 centenarians hints at another factor that may protect people from illnesses such as heart attacks and stroke - they appear not to dwell on stressful events.

“They seem to manage their stress better than the rest of us,” he said.