This morning there was an earthquake in southern Illinois. I didn’t feel it, but other people in my general area of the country felt it. So the earthquake was the topic of conversation on the radio as I was driving to work. One man called in and said:
Sphere: Related Content“My wife woke me up and said, ‘The bed’s shaking. Were we having sex?”
Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.
tiara tip to Fausta
I saw this video at Hot Air, and I had to share it. Just put the footage of two loose cannons together, and you get this:
Video: Hillary Linked To Scientology!
I spent my afternoon at a meeting. The person who was facilitating the discussion was a man (an elementary school principal) who had THE worst toupee I’ve ever seen. The toupee in the phototo on the left is similar to what he had. Obvious, miss-matched, should be embarrassing, hilarious. It actually was almost uncomfortable because you feel so sorry for someone who doesn’t appear to have a clue that he looks so ridiculous. He just kept talking abou thow wonderful his school is how he is such a wonderful principal. Really, I’ve rarely seen such a undeservedly confident person.
Unfortunately, we were sitting around a large conference table, and the toupee’ed school principal was sitting next to me. He was very talkative and, as I said, quite proud of what a wonderful speaker he is. In fact, he’s the kind of person who completely monopolizes meetings. So, out of courtesy, I watched him a good part of the 3 hours that the meeting lasted. I wonder if he realized that I was studying his horrible toupee most of the time I was looking in his direction. My thought was that I couldn’t wait to get home so I could write about his bad toupee. The color was a fairly good match, but it was obvious that his own hair was straight, and the toupee was curly. In the back, the toupee stuck out away from his shirt collar – making it even more obvious. At his temples, you could see his real sideburns underneath the toupee. And the toupee is not new. He has apparently been wearing the same toupee for years.
Since I sat close to him, I was able to see the toupee close-up, and I could see how awful it really was. I guess educators don’t make much money but SURELY he could save enough money to buy a decent toupee. Many years ago a friend loaned me a wig, and I wore it a couple times – just for the fun of it. It was hot and felt miserable. Yet this man wears a toupee every single day. I can just imagine how uncomfortable that is.
Sphere: Related ContentI always get tickled when I hear people say “For all intensive purposes” instead of “for all intents and purposes.” I was reading another blog this morning (I won’t embarrass the writer by telling which one) that used the phrase “intensive purposes.” I’m sorry, but when someone uses language so incorrectly, it’s difficult to pay much attention to the rest of what they’re saying or writing. “Intensive purposes” really doesn’t make sense in that context. Do people even THINK about the meaning of what they’re saying or writing? I dated a guy once who sent out a group email with the phrase “intensive purposes” in it. Although it made me cringe, I never pointed it out.
For what it’s worth, folks, the phrase is “FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES.”
Sphere: Related ContentTiara tip to Greta for sharing this. She found it at Woot.com.
by Jason Toon & Matthew Shultz Friday, January 4 10:00 AM
News
I got an email today from a fellow teacher with a bunch of cartoons. Several of them I posted two years ago . These are some new ones – at least new to me. I hope you get a chuckle out of at least one of them. Enjoy!
And whatever you do, make sure you follow this
Excuse the language in the next one – it was too funny to leave out.
Here’s a funny I thought I’d share with you. There’s a graphic that goes with it, and I’ll add that later this evening – can’t do that from work. I received this from my friend, Joy, this morning:
Sphere: Related ContentI was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago”, the homeless woman told me.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked.
“Are you NUTS !” replied the h omeless woman. ” I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.”
The homeless woman was shocked. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”
Heather Mills is angry that people drink milk. Really. Supposedly “meat, dairy and fish are principal causes of global environmental collapse.” I kid you not. That’s what they claim. The full story is HERE, but here’s the quote. Don’t you just love it?
Sphere: Related Content“We are the only species that drinks another person’s milk, so why aren’t we drinking rat’s milk, or dog’s milk, or cat’s milk, that’s how crazy it is,” she said.
“It’s mad that we are having cow’s milk. Even cows don’t drink it after one year but we continue forever.”
