Today at school I was working with a group of fourth graders. One little boy asked if I had a Bible in my classroom. I said that I didn’t. I have thousands of books in the room, but not a Bible. Then a little girl pulled out a Bible she had in her bookbag. She pointed out a couple of verses she liked, and then said she was memorizing Plasma 23. At first I was puzzled. Plasma? PLASMA? Then the answer dawned on me.

“Psalms 23?” I asked.

“Yes!” she answered. ” I couldn’t remember how to say it!”

I flew to Georgia this weekend with PawPaw in his Bonanza airplane. I’m getting quite adept at climbing up onto the wing, easing down into the plane and sliding into my seat, putting on my earphones and connecting the jacks. I’ve learned how to read some of the instruments, and I love watching the GPS unit as it tracks the plane’s progress. Coming back this afternoon, flying out of a tiny airport south of Atlanta, we were directed on a flight path over Stone Mountain, GA. I remember years ago climbing Stone Mountain and thinking of how HUGE it was. From the air, it doesn’t look nearly as impressive. As a matter of fact, when PawPaw first said, “Look, there’s Stone Mountain!” I thought he was wrong. That small mound of rock couldn’t possibly be Stone Mountain, could it? As we got closer, it was obvious that it was, indeed, Stone Mountain. When we passed over it, I saw the lake that’s around part of it, and the roads, and the park area - all vaguely familiar from when I was there years ago. I looked back as we passed and could even view the carving on the side!

I’ve flown with PawPaw many times, and I never cease to be amazed at how things look from a few thousand feet in the air. First of all, on the ground it looked like a brilliantly clear day. At six thousand feet, the layer of haze and pollution is clearly there - definitely worse around Atlanta than more rural areas. The other thing that I’m amazed about is how orderly and beautiful everything is - like a giant crazy quilt of shapes and colors and patterns - constantly changing as we go. During part of the trip we were above the expressway I usually travel when I’m driving between Tennessee and Georgia. Everything looks so different from the plane. At one point I found I-75 and tried to figure out which exits I could see. Later, I was able to pick out I-24 as it curved through Chattanooga, and then the foundry plant next to the river north of town. Most of the time, though, it was difficult to identify familiar places on the ground.

A lot was crammed into a couple days. I went four-wheeling through the fields early this morning around PawPaw’s barn. I had ridden with Scalawag last year when he first got his four-wheeler, but I had never ridden it by myself. What fun! Yesterday I went shopping with Meah while Scalawag and PawPaw hunted. We had such a good time talking and looking through stores at the mall. I loved being at the farm later when Scalawag finally broke his 4-year deer-hunting dry spell — and being able to congratulate him on getting a 10-point buck. I had fun shooting skeet and Dr. Thunder cans yesterday afternoon. I FINALLY hit a can and watched as the carbonated contents exploded. PawPaw and Scalawag hit the skeet and cans almost every time. Out of all my shots, only one connected. I guess that means that the bad guys are fairly safe around me - but not when I’m with PawPaw or Scalawag. The cans were the most fun to shoot because Scalawag would shake one up first and then throw it in the air. When it was hit with the shotgun, the can would start spinning wildly in the air with Dr. Thunder spewing out in spirals. (P.S. Dr. Thunder is Wal-Mart’s version of Dr. Pepper. A case of 24 is about $3.00 - cheaper than some targets, and definitely more fun!)

Then came the reason for the trip to Georgia. This afternoon we attended the memorial service for PawPaw’s cousin, Kathy. The chapel was so crowded that people were standing outside, listening to the service. A wonderful soloist started off the service by singing “Amazing Grace” a cappella. Then Kathy’s husband, in a breaking voice, gave a tender eulogy for his wife of 22 years. The minister that spoke next was the same one who had married them years ago.

One observation since I’ve attended two memorial services this week. In both services, the minister did what we used to describe as an “altar call” during the service - calling on the people there to give themselves to Jesus. Is that typical at funerals - to try to convert people? I don’t know why it bothered me, but it seemed to take away from what I feel is the purpose of a memorial service - to honor the person who died. I wanted to hear stories about Kathy - things she did during her lifetime, the people she touched, her accomplishments. People can go to church for a regular church service if they’re looking to be saved or if they want to hear a sermon. It seems unkind to play on people’s already raw emotions at a funeral by trying to convert them. A funeral is to celebrate the deceased’s memory. I’m sure others view the practice differently, but I thought it was tacky and opportunistic.

That pretty much sums up the weekend. Although the past three days have included two funerals, it has been an enjoyable time. I saw people I hadn’t seen in a long time, I was able to get outside and have fun with some of my close family, and I got to fly in a small airplane twice.

Today I attended the memorial service for my best friend’s boyfriend. It was a meaningful service honoring the memory of a kind and good man. During the service, two young nieces spoke lovingly of their Uncle Roger. A nephew gave a eulogy that made me feel that I knew the man I had only met twice. At the end of the service, a color guard folded an American flag and presented it to his son, a soldier himself. Roger’s father sat on the second row, quiet and stoic - appearing unsure of what was going on. Roger’s ex-wife, a previous girlfriend, and his girlfriend of the past year (my best friend) all comforted each other - joined in the grief of losing a man they all had loved. It was strange and touching at the same time.

Right after I left the service, I called PawPaw to tell him that I would get home later than I had anticipated. We had planned to get together tonight for dinner and to watch TV. He said he had very sad news to tell me. His cousin, Kathy - a bright, precocious eleven-year old when PawPaw and I got married in 1969 - died this morning. She was forty-five. Her teenage son had gone to tell her that she had a phone call, and he found her dead in her bed. Probable heart-attack. She leaves behind a husband and two teenage sons.

It seems almost like a season of mourning. Three times recently, tragedies have struck someone close to me. Hopefully, the saying that bad luck comes in threes is true. I’ll fly to Georgia with PawPaw tomorrow morning in order to attend Kathy’s memorial service on Sunday. There won’t be any camping this weekend. The Median Sib will have no new posts until Sunday evening or Monday.

There is nothing like death to make one appreciate life - to see the value in each minute spent with loved ones.

(Note added on 10/31/05: The conference described below was a two-day conference. I was only able to stay for the first day. This morning I emailed some friends who stayed for both days and asked if the conference got any better the second day. They ALL said that it did - that the second day was very good. I wish I could have been there for that day. It’s too bad that there were so many problems on the first day.)

I attended a conference on Thursday of the Alabama Reading Association in Huntsville, AL. It was a disappointing experience. Almost always I can gain something of value from attending a conference. Not this time. The conference planners could have written a book entitled WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN PLANNING A CONFERENCE. Here are the main points of their yet-to-be-published book.

(1) Obtain a nationally recognized speaker - one that is so well known and popular that teachers from surrounding states will attend the conference. That will get lots of people to attend the conference. Get so many people to register for the conference that the conference hotel will fill up quickly, requiring many participants to seek hotel accommodations elsewhere. Then, during the keynote speech, when you have the civic center auditorium filled with eager attendees, have an audio system so poor that the speaker’s voice is distorted, and people can’t hear the speech. Compound the problem by not having the speaker stand on the speakers’ platform where she can be seen by all, but rather off to the side on the floor among the audience. That way only a few of the people present can see her. Have a large projection screen, but don’t be a copycat and show the speaker on the screen like other conferences. Instead, show grainy images of the speaker’s transparencies that can’t be read by most of the people in the large civic center auditorium.

(2) Next, when planning the “concurrent sessions”, have some of them lined up along the sides of that aforementioned large civic center auditorium, but separate the different “rooms” using only 8-foot high partitions. This will allow sound to travel so that participants can hear bits and pieces from several sessions at the same time. Then don’t provide microphones for the speakers OR enough chairs for all the participants. That will ensure that, once again, most people are uncomfortable and won’t hear the speaker. All those people having to stand up or sit on the floor are an indication of how successful the conference is.

(3) In planning where to have the more popular speakers conduct their sessions, don’t put them in large rooms. Rather, put them in small rooms with only a few chairs. That way, people will have to stand up along the walls and sit on the floor in the back. It’s a good way to test the determination of the conference participants and prove quickly who has the mettle to stand for an hour.

(4) To top off the day, put a 40-minute lunch break in the daily schedule. However, don’t provide lunch for the conference participants and provide no information about possible places nearby where lunch can be obtained quickly. Instead, ensure that there is only one concession stand in the civic center to serve the thousands of participants. That way, the participants will enjoy the social opportunity of talking to other participants as they stand in line for over an hour to get greasy chicken strips and fries. As a bonus, the long lunch line also ensures that many participants will not be able to attend the session following the lunch period. That should help solve the over-crowding problem in the first concurrent sessions after the lunch break.

(5) To sooth any ruffled feathers, end the day with a popular author and have the sound system work well. He can be heard clearly, and his message is great. However, in order not to interfere with the general theme of ineptitude for the day, tack an interminably boring local honors and awards time at the end of the speech. That, along with all the other absurdities for the day, will keep the audience down to only the loyal few.

I hate to think that I missed a full day of being with my students to attend such a poorly planned conference. There were fantastic speakers - and the potential for a powerful and meaningful conference was there - but it was unrealized. If I were one of the speakers or presenters, I would be furious that my hard work and preparation were rendered useless and ineffective by poor event planners.

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my classroom doing some paperwork when I overheard a conversation in the hallway between a teacher and a third grade student. The teacher was chastising the child for asking to go to the bathroom soon after the class had had a bathroom break. She told him that THIS time she would let him go, but that from now on he was to make sure he went when the class took their scheduled bathroom break because the next time he asked to go to the bathroom at a time other than the designated bathroom time, the answer would be “no.” Her voice was impatient and demeaning. I was appalled. Do teachers still have such insensitive and ignorant rules?

Rewind the clock to over 45 years ago when I was in the third grade. Mrs. Giles was my teacher. We were taking turns going up to her desk and reciting our multiplication tables. I raised my hand and asked to go to the bathroom. Mrs. Giles told me no. Soon it was my turn to come up to her desk to recite my multiplication tables. Standing there nervously, squeezing my legs together, trying to recite my math but with my mind on my bladder that felt like it was about to burst, I could hold it no longer. I peed all over the floor. Mrs. Giles didn’t notice. I finished my multiplication tables and went back to my seat - humiliated and terrified of being found out. Another child came up to do the multiplication, and pointed out the puddle on the floor. Giggles filled the air. Mrs. Giles asked for the “guilty party” to raise his/her hand and admit to wetting the floor. I continued doing my schoolwork. Then she gave the class a sanctimonious lecture about going to the bathroom at appointed times so that accidents wouldn’t happen. I remained quiet. There was no doubt that Mrs. Giles knew who had peed on the floor. It isn’t something you can hide easily — although it those days, girls wore dresses every day. So it wasn’t as obvious as it would have been if I’d been wearing slacks. I guess I could at least commend her on not publicly pointing out who the culprit was. She let it go. Recess came soon afterwards. I ran outside and huddled behind some shrubbery — embarrassed, but also furious. I had TOLD her I had to go. I was a good student - well behaved and respectful. Unless I was in an urgent situation, I would have waited till the next scheduled bathroom break. The situation should never have happened.

All these years later, I still recall the details of that day - what the classroom and Mrs. Giles desk looked like, what the lesson was at the time, the bushes where I hid out during recess, and the awful embarrassment I felt. When I became a teacher. I swore that I would never allow such a thing to happen to any of my students. Each year on the first day of school, I discussed our class bathroom guidelines with them, and they knew the procedures to follow, and they also knew that if they ever had an “urgent” situation, they just had to let me know where they were going and head out to the bathroom. I was a classroom teacher for 25 years — and while I’m sure there are children who occasionally took an unnecessary trip to the bathroom, no child ever abused that plan.

As I listened to the teacher in the hall a few weeks ago, I felt bad for the child. I wondered if that humiliating experience would be something he’d still remember 45 years from now. Everyone has experienced times when, despite taking care of such things at the appropriate times, they have to go to the bathroom during meetings, during a class, or at other inconvenient times. I admit that I don’t know any other details other than the overheard conversation. However, it is a conversation that should never have taken place.

You most likely have already seen the “Every Woman Should Have/Know” post below. It has made the email rounds over the past few years. I took out the “Send this to three friends within three minutes…” tagline that seems to be a requisite for so many emails, and I cleaned up some of the excessive periods and spaces. I’m posting it here because, despite the fact that it’s part of an email chain, it still has some good points. What do you think of it? Do you see things that you don’t think every woman should have or know? Can you think of others that aren’t on the list?

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE one old love she can imagine going back to…and one who reminds her how far she has come.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own…even if she never wants to or needs to.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…a youth she’s content to leave behind.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…and how to change a tire!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… when to try harder… and when to walk away.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW… that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to live alone…even if she doesn’t like it.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…or a charming inn in the woods…when her soul needs soothing.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…a month…and a year.

I’m going to do it again. Saturday night (and maybe Friday, too) I’m going camping. I’ve selected the place. I’m really getting into this. There is just a feeling of freedom and enjoyment of nature. I’ve checked the weather, and it looks like a perfect weekend for camping.

Rosa Parks died yesterday at the age of 92. As a teacher, I have taught lessons on Rosa Parks for as long as I’ve been teaching. Having grown up in the 60’s, I’m old enough to vaguely remember stores with “white” and “colored” water fountains and bathrooms. I can remember separate schools for white children and black children. It was a world very different from today. There were some things that were better back then, but segregation and racial prejudice were not among them.

It’s difficult to explain to modern children the tremendous courage it took for Rosa Parks to refuse to give up her bus seat to a white man. Nowadays we can’t even imagine such a thing! I’m thankful that our children have role models from the past, such as Rosa Parks, who stood up for what was right, regardless of the personal cost. I wonder who their role models from today will be. It is often the everyday person - someone not in a position of prestige or power - who ends up being the most influential. An ordinary person, like Rosa Parks, doing extraordinary acts…and changing our world.

I read a news report today that Theresa Heinz Kerry was awarded $15 million in the wrongful death suit she filed after her husband, Senator John Heinz, was killed in a mid-air crash of an airplane and a helicopter. She sued the owners of the airplane in which her husband was traveling along with the owners of the helicopter. $3 million of the settlement goes to Heinz Kerry as the executor of the estate, and the remaining $12 million goes to her and the three sons she had with Heinz. The crash also killed six others - including two first-graders on the ground.

I am wondering if the families of each of those six others also received $15 million. Where does one find information such as that? I would think that surely they did, but you can never tell. The news report, of course, was only about Heinz Kerry.

A personal opinion and aside: Heinz Kerry was enough reason not to vote for John Kerry in the last election although he provided enough reasons on his own - and I haven’t knowingly purchased a Heinz product since then - and won’t in the future.

I just got off the phone from talking to my best friend, Patti. Patti is near my age — a few years younger - in her early fifties. We got to know each other in our church’s singles group, and have been good friends for six or seven years. We’ve seen each other through ups and downs, through various moves, various relationships, and we’ve sat together and boohooed over lost loves. Last year, though, she met Roger, and they had been together since then. I remember the first time I met Roger. All he could talk about was how wonderful and beautiful Patti is. I was so happy for her because she SO deserved having a good relationship where the guy really appreciated her. He danced, too - a definite plus in the boyfriend department. They spent this past weekend together, and last night, after watching the Titans game together at Patti’s house, Roger left to go back to his house. Patti got the call from Roger’s sister today - Roger apparently got up this morning and was eating a sandwich — and died. They don’t know if he had a heart attack or if he choked on the sandwich. Either way - he’s gone. His sister found him about six hours later.

Life is short. There are no guarantees.

Later note: The official cause of death was choking. He died eating a grilled cheese sandwich. He had knocked over a chair — apparently trying to do the self-Heimlich maneuver.