Okay – a fair warning.  This is mildly off-color. If a little sexual humor offends you, click over to another one of my posts. (Try HERE, HERE, HERE, or HERE for some of my favorite posts).

You know how you have some friends who send you emails of jokes, cartoon and “inspirational” stories all the time?  The following joke was in an email I received recently (hat tip to RC).  It is actually one I hadn’t heard (or read) before.  Of course that doesn’t mean anything.  It could have been making the email rounds for years, and I just never happened to get it – or maybe it was one of those I deleted without reading.  And since it’s about marriage, divorce and a lawyer – and I’ve been married and divorced, and I dated a lawyer a few years ago, I figured this was a good story to share here at TMS.  Without further ado, here it is:

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, buthe wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him!

But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 at 6:42 am and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.