When I was born, my parents named me Mary Carol and decided to call me Carol. That decision has been a thorn in my side my entire life.
Let’s say my last name is Smith. Teachers, doctors, interviewers, bank tellers, anyone looking at my name on an application, roster or other form would call me “Mary Smith” and I’d have to say, “No, I go by Carol.” That happened no matter how many times I’d circle “Carol” or highlight it or write “I GO BY CAROL” in the margins.  And often people don’t care what name you go by – they’re going to call you by your first name regardless. There would be no way to count all the pre-printed nametags I’ve had to change over the years. In recent years I’ve sidestepped the issue by writing “Mary Carol” as my first name and leaving the middle name space blank on any form I had to complete.
Since I’ve recently married (and I won’t even go into how utterly stupid it is for women to be expected to change their names/identities when they get married), I spent the better part of yesterday morning at the drivers license station getting my last name changed on my drivers license. Previously when I was married, I dropped the “Mary” entirely and had my maiden name as my middle name and my married name as my last - I’d be Carol Smith Jones, for example. That worked out well. At least when people saw my name on a roster or list, they’d call me “Carol.” No correction or clarification needed.
Last week when I changed my name with the Social Security Department, they had no problem changing my Social Security card to Carol Smith Jones. But the drivers license people? Oh no, that would make entirely too much sense.
The TDOS clerk informed me that it was AGAINST THE LAW to drop the first name – unless I get a court order to change my name. You can drop your middle name, you can change your last name, but apparently “Mary” is the only name that is protected forever (except via court order) by Tennessee LAW. I would never drop “Carol” or “Smith” since those are the names I’ve gone by for 57 years. “Carol Smith” is who I am. Thus, my drivers license now reads “Mary Carol Smith Jones.” Notice that the first and last names are what people will use when looking at the drivers license – and neither of those names is ME. The clerk informed me, though, that I could sign it however I wished. So I signed “Carol Smith Jones.”Â
Yes, it is an issue that pales into nonexistence when compared with major issues such as war and famine and disease. It’s merely one of those little annoyances that I wish parents would consider when naming their children. It’s an annoyance that has particularly annoyed me my entire life. Even after ranting about it with my siblings, a couple of them still called their kids by the middle name.Â
When my newly printed and laminated license was ready to be picked up yesterday, the clerk glanced at it and called out, “Mary Jones?” I will be getting that court order soon.
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December 29th, 2006 at 11:47 am
My husband and I BOTH have to deal with going by middle names and it is so annoying. That is why all 5 of our children go by their first names. Texas doesn’t want to let you drop the first name either.
Carol: And what makes it worse is that people sometimes act like you’re trying to do something dishonest by wanting to be called your middle name instead of the first.Â
December 29th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
I apologize Carol! Please forgive me. If I ever have any more children I will remember. If it is any consolation, my name is Sarah Ruth and I was called “Ruth”. Also, we did the same thing to 3 of your siblings (Joan, Terry and Beth)I now sign checks etc as Ruth Smith Jones but somehow Redmond Hosp found out about “Sarah” and I get some mail adressed to Sarah Jones.
Carol: I guess that wasn’t a very nice thing for me to write, was it? However, it HAS been a royal pain for a long time. I think “Mary Carol” is a beautiful name – I just wish you’d called me Mary or else named me “Carol Mary” (which doesn’t “flow” as nicely – but once you get used to a combination, it usually sounds good.) And Joan and Debi both did the same thing to their daughters – despite my protests!
December 29th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
Being Sharon Lyn, I dropped my first name when I got married. It was no problem for my driver’s license. I always thought it was different and liked it that my “official” signature had the initial at the beginning rather than the middle like most people. I was S. Lyn Smith, instead of Lyn S. Smith like most people. Two of my three kids go by their middle names. One year, in preparing for students, my parapro who was from Michigan asked, “What is it with you Southerners and calling your kids by their middle names?” It hadn’t dawned on my that it might be southern!
I’m sorry it’s been such a hassle for you!
Carol: And during my first marriage I was Carol Smith Jones – and it worked well. There was no problem in dropping the first name. But you know my history the past seven or eight years. The whole name issue has been a pain. The Drivers License guy yesterday really got my goat. Such stupidity.
December 29th, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Many many years ago I swore I would never do to my kids what my parents had done to me. Seemed like every year in school when they called roll the first time is was “James M****” and I would say “Here” and the teacher would ask me if I went by James, Jimmy, Jim? and every year I would get that stunned look from the teacher when I said “Mike”
Carol:Â Way to go, James!Â
  (Sorry – I couldn’t resist)
December 29th, 2006 at 7:51 pm
I can relate to your tale of woe. My parents gave me a somewhat common name (crystal) but with a unique way of spelling it (christal). This has meant a lifetime of having to correctly spell my name over and over again. It’s gotten to where I tell me that I really don’t care how they spell it because it can be such an inconvenience. I’m the only child my parents did this to! As a result, my own three have common names that can only be spelled one way (although, I’m sure there are people out there who could be quite creative if they chose to do so!)
Carol: Well, I have to admit that even after all the name rigamarole I’ve gone through, I named my daughter an unusual name. We used her FIRST name, but it’s one that most people mispell and mispronounce. Now I happen to LOVE her name – which is why we gave it to her. However, it’s been a pain for her. I’ve already apologized to her many times for that! Then she went and married and guy with an unusual last name . . .  Oh well . . . Why can’t we all just get along?
December 29th, 2006 at 10:29 pm
I like your writing except your side bar. Why be this right wing nut? be a moderate, its where the truth is.
December 30th, 2006 at 10:38 am
Before you go to the expense of getting the court order, check with an attorney or the secretary of state (or whatever they call it there.) It’s very likely that the DMV clerk was an ignorant and officious dweeb, and that you’re allowed to use whichever name you like.
Carol: Oh no, Charlie! I’m absolutely certain that the Tennessee Department of Safety would NEVER hire “an ignorant and officious dweeb.” Never, no never! I’m certain of it.
December 30th, 2006 at 10:39 am
Oh, and it could be worse — my sister is called by her middle name: Queene.
December 30th, 2006 at 11:57 am
I feel your pain! My hubby is called by HIS middle name because he is a JR. and his father used the first name. We made a point of NOT doing that to our boys. Although our oldest was RWL III and was called by his first name he once had a teacher in high school that insisted that his first name was short for something else and he would be called by his full name in that class. My son explained that his name was RWL III and that his first name was NOT short for anything. It took a while but he finally convinced the teacher that he, indeed, did know what his name was!!!
Carol: My sister, Beth, had teachers tell her that her name was really Elizabeth. She had to explain that NO, her name was simply Beth – not short for anything.
December 30th, 2006 at 12:00 pm
As a teacher and parent, I 100% agree – please do not call child by middle name. All my 3 children go by first name after seeing so many family members and friends go by middle name and the craziness of having to deal with it.
In some schools, the curriculum requires they be called by first name, it doesn’t matter if they are called by their middle name. The reasoning behind it is because of the trouble is causes, not to mention the names kids are called, like Boss Hawg, Big Man, Baby, etc.
Carol: Wow! I think it’s almost unanimous! Except for Lyn, I don’t know of anyone who LIKES being called their middle name.
December 31st, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Actually, sister Queene likes her name. She just dropped her first name (Mary).
The theory behind the names was after my two grandmothers, us Injuns having had Queene as a traditional name since the White People showed up. They chose the order they did because “Queene Mary” sounded too risky.
Didn’t do a lot of good, though, as by the time she was six or seven we’d discovered English history and started calling her “Mary Queene of Snots”.
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:04 pm
I’m gonna go along with Lyn. I like my name. My daddy went by the name that is my first name, so they used my middle name for me. I much prefer Terrell to Junior. If other folks have a problem with me choosing to go by my middle name, so what! I could be Buddy or some other nickname. Sometimes reversing the first and middle names can make the name less than mellifluous. I say name the child what you like. We all have crosses to bear of one kind or another. Be thankful you’re not Ophelia or Ieula!!
Give that child a name with special meaning or just a sound you like and let the chips (dweeb teachers, dweeb bureaucrats, dweeb doctors) fall where they may.
And I love Stinkeroo’s name!
Carol: Glad you like being called by your middle name. That makes two of you. I STILL intensely dislike the never-ending hassle of it. And thanks – I love Stinkeroo’s name, too.
February 12th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
I completely agree with you about this insane form of nonsense. I just got a new car earlier today and it was a pain in the ass about my name. I have always gone by my middle name with relatives and friends ever since the day that I was born. Well today the car salesman tried to fill out my car title and he got the two given names in the wrong order. I immediately corrected him about it. Then they put it under the first, middle, and last name because the DMV requires it to be that way. I’m going to get a court order to COMPLETELY CHOP OFF THE FIRST NAME THAT I DON’T USE! Nope I don’t want idiots lying the way that they always do when I talk about changing my name. I NEVER WANT THE FIRST NAME TO REMAIN THE FIRST NAME AND I DON’T WANT THAT STUPID GARBAGE BECOMING A MIDDLE NAME OR A LAST NAME. I simply want to totally destroy the first name that I detest because I do not want it at all.
TMS: You sound very angry about it, and I feel the same way. It just infuriates me. Nothing against my parents – but I sure wish they had THOUGHT about it before they named me. Some people obviously don’t care. I do, and it drives me nuts. Stupid, stupid laws that don’t let you decide WHICH of the two given names to use in applications and accounts.
March 2nd, 2007 at 8:17 am
I am going through a different situation, and I would like to drop my middle name and use my maiden name as my middle name. Is that a huge process or is it just a matter of changing my drivers license to reflect that? Would this be a really big deal to do? Can anyone on here offer some advice? Would my SS card have to be changed?
Thanks,
-Tonda
TMS: According to the folks at the Tennessee Dept. of Safety – dropping the middle name is no problem. And getting my social security card changed was one of the easiest parts of the process. They just ask what name you want on your card – and that’s what they put on it. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble dropping your middle name and using your maiden name as your middle.
March 7th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
I’m going to have to agree with Terrell and Lyn and join the small majority that likes middle names. My first name is okay, but it’s unisex and sometimes a surname. My last name is usually a female first name and so I always used to get called [last name] [first name]. I’m only fourteen, so I haven’t had any problems going by my middle name yet, but I think I’ll probably change it legally in the future.
I happen to be a middle sib too, by the way.
Middle of three girls, though.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Carol, thank you for sharing. I found this website because I’ve always been known by my middle name, Teresa and I finally decided I wanted to switch my middle name and first name. My given name is Maria Teresa, I want to change it to Teresa Maria. I have horrible stories about always having to fight fraudulent credit reports. With Maria as a first name and a very popular last name, about 1,000,000 people have the same name. Do you think I will need to file a court order? I live in CA.
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:58 pm
I have a better suggestion for you Teresa. Just totally chop off the first name that you don’t use. Yes you will have to get a court order to do this.
TMS: I still get angry when I think someone can drop the middle name with no trouble whatsoever. However, try to drop the first name, and a court order is necessary. And some people STILL think it is okay to call kids by their middle name without even considering the royal pain in the butt it is for the kid.
April 17th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
My name is Maria Theresa also, Through out school and college my family and friends of the family call me Tess (some call me Maritess) and friends from school and work call me Maria, it was like I had an alias. My mom however is Maria Corazon (Maria is a very common first name in the Philippines, I have a few cousins with Maria as their first names but don’t use it, plus they don’t make a big deal over it there, when she moved to the US she didn’t think how it would be any different, hence my name) On her dl it’s just Corazon, on her ss card it’s Maria Corazon and at work it’s Ma Corazon(funny, how that was possible). I don’t want to get a court order and totally erase my first name because that’s what I was given and like it, I just want to make things simpler for ME! I tried to change my dl in NJ with Theresa as my first name, but guess how that turned out.
Now that I moved to Virginia (away from my family) I just want EVERYONE to call me Tess. It is so frustrating. Almost everyone at work call me Tess, except for people that don’t know me and HR because all my paperwork and my email say Maria T. I don’t even bother at OB’s office (I’m 7 months preg), since I see a different receptionist or nurse every time I go there.
I am reluctant to change dl over to VA, because of some chance that I can find a loop hole. But chances are that I’m going to have to forfeit my first name. So rest assure that I WILL NOT have my boy go through that!
July 14th, 2008 at 9:06 am
Dear Carol,
I am a Barbara Ann that has always been called Ann. My family has a tradition of this for at least 3 generations, and I’ve never minded the different set up.
My grandmother was named Helen Almyra and they had little girl go by Almyra! No wonder she was a cranky woman!
Do we know where the tradition started?
Thank you! Ann
February 5th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I came across this site when searching for info on how hard or how easy it is to go by a middle name. I used to live in the North but a couple of years ago moved to the South, and I’ve noticed that a lot of people here go by their middle names. My middle name fits me better than Melissa, but I never really went by it much and have thought of starting to do so.
March 28th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
upon birth, i was given a name. later changed, some continued to call me by the initial name. this continued. i hate it.
June 25th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
I’m another person whose first name is Mary but goes by the middle name. My name is Mary Ellen. Always get called the wrong thing regardless.
I think Ellen works better with my last name because it starts with a vowel, and I don’t think I’m really a Mary.
I don’t think using the middle name with the name Mary is uncommon because the name is so common. As for famous cases, I believe Flannery O’Connor’s name was actually Mary Flannery O’Connor.
June 28th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
If people WANT to go by their middle name, they can and should deal with whatever comes their way. That’s not the point of this discussion. The point is, don’t inflict it on children to be forced to go by middle name.
It was done to me, and it screwed up school, friendships, relationships, working, networking, buying a home.
June 28th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Amen, Middle Namer! If a person CHOOSES to go by the middle name, then that’s their business. Parents shouldn’t inflict it on their children, though. I’m almost 60 years old, and it’s been a thorn in my side my entire life. Recently I’ve considered legally changing my name to get rid of my first name so I can be done with this headache for good.
July 3rd, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Carol, that’s exactly what I did. I legally changed my name, and it was the BEST decision I ever made.
Of course, it took more than 10 years, because my family who called me by my middle name in the first place kept telling me not to do it.
Feel like I lost 10 years of my life, because I’ve basically had to start over with a lot of things. But totally worth it.
July 5th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
This issue has also bothered me. It got worse in 2007 when I changed the name to the husband’s (after 3 years of marriage). I have FOUR names, and they aren’t short ones. It’s now written on my license as First MM Last. And I was known as the MM before this! I have to carry around a passport because so much of what I do is in my middle name, and it’s not printed on my license. When I got married the first time, I was able to drop the maiden name and just take the husband’s, but no more. I’m getting married for the third time, and I’m guessing I’ll now have FIVE names since I didn’t return to the maiden name in the divorce. It really stinks.
August 1st, 2009 at 10:01 pm
My parents have named me Stacey Nadine.
But for some reason they just call me Nadine. I honestly don’t mind that, but the truth is now i’ve gotten use to being called Nadine that i don’t answer to Stacey.
When i started high school 3 years ago, i got put into my class from the register. They Called out my name Stacey Class 9A – and i didnt reply, i didn’t know they where calling my name. In class they called out my name “Stacey” i still didnt reply. like before i hadn’t relised they where talking to me. lol i must say my first day was quite fun!! My best friend ended up telling the teachers my name is Nadine not Stacey, the look on there faces then she told them this was a crack up!
I’d never forget that day. =D
They now (finally) after 3 years have started calling me Nadine.
Ahh, the hassels of middle names ^____^
August 2nd, 2009 at 9:13 am
I can’t stress enough to anyone having children how important it is NOT to call them by their middle name. I’ll be 60 years old in a few weeks, and the middle name issue has only become worse as I’ve gotten older. My divorce/remarriage compounded the problem for me.
August 9th, 2009 at 9:44 am
I think it’s fine to go by a middle name. Paul McCartney, Sean Connery. G. Gordon Liddy , and many others have lived just fine going by a middle name and I think if you asked them, they wouldn’t say that it has been a major issue in their lives. If you go by your middle name, then you can have two names. One for your professional life and one for your personal live. This way you know automatically if someone calls by your first name that they don’t know you. If you want someone to call you by your middle name, just tell them.
August 15th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
It is interesting, shaw, that the folks you named who go by their middle names are ALL MEN. They don’t have the issue of changing their name when they marry. And your response that “if you go by your middle name, then you can have two names” illustrates what is frustrating about this whole issue, imho. If I go by Carol, but Mary is my first name, then folks who see my name on a class roll or registration form are going to always call me “Mary” since everyone looks at the first name – and then I’ll have to correct them – and it’s a pain in the ass. My guess is that you have never experienced this personally. While there are those who go by their middle name and don’t mind it, at least they understand why it’s an irritation for others – especially for women.
August 28th, 2009 at 11:18 am
There are a couple of solutions for this name problem when women get married. One solution is to refuse to take the guy’s last name. You can also stay single. However, it is still much better for women and men if parents refuse to force their kids to use the middle name. Just call them by the first name because it is is much easier for the child.
August 13th, 2010 at 4:58 am
Thanks for your lovely blog post. I thought I was making a big deal out of nothing. I’m not Southern. I’m Catholic, and I came out of the very end of that old Catholic tradition of naming a girl baby “Mary Whatever” and calling her “Whatever,” not “Mary.” I have hated this all my life, because with telemarketers, doctors’ offices, and professors on the first day of class, I am “Mary.” I’m now taking an online course, and although I write “Patty’s Response to Question” on the posts or “Patty’s Reflections on Chapter 6,” my online classmates say, “Excellent point, Mary!” I always imagine “Mary” to be about 157 years old and living in a home. I don’t think she and i are the same person. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know how to use a computer. On the introduce-yourself post I explained the whole “Please-call-me-Patty” situation but to no avail. This may be the final nail in the coffin for “Mary.”
September 7th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Patty, I am in the same boat! I am Southern, not Catholic, but Mary Amanda all the same. I am taking half-online, half-in-person graduate level courses, and of course, the online rosters put “Mary [Surname]” next to all of my posts. In one class, I’m in a group with three other people, and after asking three times for them to call me Amanda, one still calls me Mary. One person even had the ignorance to ask me, “Oh, so did they put Mary on your birth certificate by mistake?” My name is NOT a mistake; it’s a part of my Southern culture.
Honestly, it’s getting to the point where I’m considering making Amanda my legal first name.
All of these comments on a four-year-old blog post make me feel like we need our own website/forum; this was one of the first things that came up when I googled “go by middle name.”
September 24th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
My name is Charlotte Allison. I go my middle name and like many of you my parents never intended on calling me by my first name. I would love to drop Charlotte when I get married it unfortunately it is a family name and the name of my late grandmother therefore i feel it would e disrespectful to drop it. Oh and did I mention that if I were to flip the names my sister and I would have the same middle name. Allison Happens to be my aunts name as well, actually Elizabeth Allison is my aunts name. This was my parents first plan but then they decided to be “original” and change the first name. Ive decided to call my first child by his or her middle name as pay back. I agree it must be a southern thing. apparently having a “formal” first name and “casual” middle name was very popular.
November 12th, 2010 at 11:40 am
I have news for you Allison. If you name your kid in the same stupid way that your parents named you, then it isn’t any form of payback to your dumb ignorant parents who named you the wrong way. You will only be punishing your child for being born. It also isn’t a southern tradition to name kids in a backwards retarded way. A tradition is something like having a parade on July 4th. It is a horrible form of child abuse to name your kids in a backwards way because it mentally tortures your child every time they have to fill out legal documents. You do not have to repeat it and you should stop the cycle of child abuse.
November 20th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
I have another question for you Allison. How on earth is it disrespectful to your dead grandmother if you get rid of the first name that you don’t use? Your grandmother is dead and she won’t know it if you legally drop the first name that you don’t use or want to keep. Since she is dead, it is impossible for her to have any thoughts or feelings about this subject or anything else. You won’t be harming her if you get rid of a nuisance that you clearly don’t want to have at all.
December 15th, 2011 at 7:32 am
I’ve always been called by my legal middle name. I guess Parents didn’t think it was a big deal, plus there was no internet and things were simpler back then. But my soc sec card has my: first full name, middle initial, last name. I sign my name using: first initial,full middle name, last name. Now when looking for a job or filling out any legal paper work it always seems to have to be exactly as on soc sec card or no place for full middle name. My health insurance even switched it to that, I’m just a # why mess with my legal middle name recognition; however my bank (Chase Bank)respects that I go by my middle name , most of my titles/legal deeds are also filled out this way. I think I may have soc sec card changed to reflect my legal name as: first initial, full middle name, last full name. It’s always a pain when your filling out paper work and someone says we need your legal name not your middle name. Then I have to tell them this is my Legal Middle Name given to me and is on my Birth Certificate. And for all of us that have to deal with this, it would be nice if people that designed applications for companies would have a place for your middle name and not middle initial. By the way what’s your first name? Its
but I go by 
One thing about going by your middle name and having soc. sec. card with middle initial is that you always know when your getting junk mail.
February 25th, 2012 at 10:24 pm
my name is jessi and im female and everyone thinks its short for jessica… i love my name.. and my neices is ostyn (austin)… i think unique spellings are a sense of a parents personality and just cuz u dnt like it u shouldnt tell people not to do it…. its ur opinion not a fact thats it a horrible thing to do to a child especially these days
March 27th, 2012 at 2:17 pm
I have something to say to you Jessi. The parents should think more about what the child needs instead of only thinking about the stupid nonsense that the parents want. If you screw up the kid’s name, then the kid can get verbal and emotional abuse from idiotic strangers who cannot handle backwards names. If parents want someone to have to deal with this type of stupidity, then the parents should leave their kids out of it. The parents can screw up their own names instead.
April 26th, 2012 at 1:49 pm
I dont’ see what the problem is. I have several cousins who are known by their middle names and one who is known by a name that doesn’t even appear on his birth certificate – middle or otherwise. The following celebrities are amongst many known by their middle names and with the exception of Robert Redford, since childhood:
Robert Redford (Charles Robert Redford)
Rihanna (Robyn Rihanna Fenty)
Justin Hayward (David Justin Hayward)
Paul McCartney (James Paul McCartney)
Virginia Wade (Sarah Virginia Wade)
Dermot O’Leary (Sean Dermot Fintan O’Leary Jr)
Gordon Brown (James Gordon Brown)
Sir Trevor McDonald, like my cousin, is known by a name that isn’t even on his birth certificate. His name is George McDonald.
April 26th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
There are several problems with this Fraggle Baggle. Here they are. An entire class of fifth graders lied to the subsitute teacher about me using the first name when I never use it. Three teachers in high school screwed my name constantly. One of them did this for about ten minutes while the second idiot did this for six weeks. The third teacher did it for the whole school year. I had a college professor ask me if I didn’t know which name I preferred to use and this implied that he thought I was stupid. I have had idiots give me dirty looks when I explained that I don’t use my first name. One idiot in a job interview talked to me like he wanted to slap my face and then he denied me employment. One jerk who worked in a store asked me if the reason why my parents call me by the middle name instead of the first name is because of the possibility that my parents didn’t want me. The jerk asked me this when I was a customer at the store. I have had too many people screw up the order of my name when I just told the correct way to write it. One idiot lied to me when he said that both given names were in the computer at the car rental company but then I learned that the middle name wasn’t put in there. Other people have treated me as if I was being dishonest for using the middle name instead of the first name. How am I being dishonest by using the middle name that my parents have forced me to use since my birth and my middle name is on my birth certificate?
April 29th, 2012 at 12:43 pm
What is the point of naming your baby, say Mary Louise and then just calling her Louise You might as well have just named her Louise in the first place, fair enough if later on the person wants to be known by their middle name but when the parents do this right from the word go i cant see the sense in it
April 30th, 2012 at 10:52 am
I agree with you Mary Bullard. The parents are acting very stupid,illogical and irresponsible.
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:46 am
Here is a suggestion on how to name your child. A man named Michael Alan King becomes a father and names his son Phillip Michael King. The son is called Phillip and this avoids confusion both inside and outside of their home. Now the kid writes his name as Phillip Michael King or Phillip M. King on all of his legal documents and everyone assumes that he is called Phillip. He won’t have any problem with his name the way that we have had problems. People can also name their daughters after their mothers with the same technique that I just mentioned. Family given names go into the middle name spot and you always call the kid by their first name. More people should name their children this way and start refusing to call the child by the middle name.
May 15th, 2012 at 1:30 pm
Five and half years after writing this post – the name thing is still a thorn in my side. Today I got an email from someone who I’ve done business with as “Carol” – however, apparently when she looked at my name on her list, she didn’t realize who it was. So the email began with “Dear Mary.” I’m sure when I die, I’ll be listed as “Mary” instead of “Carol.” It never ends.
May 16th, 2012 at 8:52 am
I only have one thing to say about your experience with the email. Some people are retarded. This reminds me of an idiot stockbroker that my family does business with. He can never get it in his stupid little head that I hate my first name and that I don’t ever want to be called by it. Once in the 1990’s he came by my dad’s company where I work and he called me by both of my given names and I had to tell him to stop calling me the first name because I hate it. All this did was start an argument about what I want to be called and it made me mad. I don’t give a rat’s ass if he likes my first name because I don’t like it and I should be the one who decides what I get called. I want to be called Elaine because that is the name that my parents have called me since the day that I was born and it is disrespectful to call me another name. To make matters worse this idiot has known me since 1983 and you would think that he would have already known my preferred name. I need to learn what his middle name is so that I can toss his nickname for his first name (as well as his first name) into the trash, call him by his middle name and mispronounce his last name just to see how much the jerk hates it. if he doesn’t like this, then I’ll stop being rude to him if he will stop being rude to me.
November 13th, 2012 at 12:59 am
It is now a new federal law developed by Homeland Security that doesn’t allow you to go officially by your middle name any longer. Because our country has no national ID card the states are responsible for intiating this process. As a matter of fact for these unfortunates you have to bring in your birth certificate or a copy to get a new licence. Then Social Security, and Medicare if necessary have to be changed now or in the future. Really all officail docs have to be changed eventually because of this new law. Fred the name I’ve gone by all my life was “trashed” in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s and my last name Boehler is mispronounced all the time which is properly said Beyler. What make my situation even crazier is I missed my Grandpa and Granma’s birth date by one day … I was due a day earlier. I’d be John and none of this nonsense would have ever been a problem. I’m thinking of changing my name to John Ray Frederick Boehler and the heck with the feds.
December 17th, 2012 at 11:56 am
I have some better ideas for your name change Fred. Totally chop off your first name and make John your new middle name. Of course, if you chop off your first name, then you need to remember that you don’t have to give yourself a new middle name and your first name doesn’t have to become your middle name.
January 9th, 2013 at 11:26 am
The “power” treat those who part their name on the wrong side with total disregard and disdain. What other group that represents more than 10% of the population gets such shabby treatment? Other than Left-Handers I mean.
January 28th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
I have some interesting information for all of the people who post on this website. The idiots who always give us such a hard time about how we use our middle names base it on case law in the USA and all of this case law is based on the New York rule which says that only your first and last name are your legal name. According to the New York rule, middle names are not a part of a person’s legal name. There is only one major problem with this and that is the fact that the New York court made a mistake about what English common law says about the definition of a person’s legal name. This mistake was made in New York in 1809. The English courts have always said that a person’s middle name(s)is a part of their legal name. You can read about it on middlenamers.com. We need to educate people about this subject and this includes all of the idiots who work at each level of government in the USA.
September 18th, 2013 at 8:04 am
It’s a wonder we can fly. Over the years I’ve had many problems with TSA and/or the airlines. It all started when TSA decided “R is not a valid first name”. It took me several tries changing my travel records to FNAME “Robert”, FNAME “Robert David”, and finally FNAME “Rdavid”.
In the latest round, I discovered I hadn’t accrued any frequent flyer miles all year because my travel agent name did not match my FF program name (the flights were there, but with 0 miles). The Delta agent suggested I change my drivers license and passport name to match their records.
Would we have these government problems if J. Edgar Hoover was still alive?