For the ones of us in education, the follow little analogy will make sense. It has probably been making the email rounds for awhile, but today is the first time I’ve seen it. Hat tip to my fellow teacher, Nancy.
Sphere: Related ContentNo Child Left Behind – Football VersionÂ
1. All teams must make the state playoffs and all MUST win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship their footballs and equipment will be taken away UNTIL they do win the championship.Â
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or of their parents.Â
ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL!Â
3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren’t interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don’t like football.Â
4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th game. It will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals.Â
If no child gets ahead, then no child gets left behind.Â
If parents do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and to support private schools that can screen out the non-athletes and prevent their children from having to go to school with bad football.
February 7th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
NCLB is a joke. Teachers are expected to spin gold from straw. Some kids are simply non English speaking they are brought in to our classrooms mid year, leave to pick strawberries for 3 weeks then return. What about the children who lose valuable learning time when the teacher has to get this kid up to date? If I was a parent with a child in school, I would be outraged. My public apology to my daughter now a teacher. Had I know then what I know now, I would NEVER have promoted teaching as a career for her. I would like to know of a private school that takes in profoundly retarded children. They don’t! that’s one factor they don’t have to deal with. Let’s all thing ZERO population growth.
October 6th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
are you retarded? You think that ELL learners are the reason that classes are failing??? You DO realize that kids that don’t speak English don’t have to take the tests, don’t you? Nice try. While I agree that NCLB is a joke, it has much more to do with a population that is intellectually diverse and slightly slow in the po-dunk racist redneck regions of our country, and critics will have to find a better excuse than blaming the children of the ones fueling our agricultural economy.
TMS: Wow! You’re a real charmer, aren’t you, Big Kugz? Your remarks highlight your own ignorance and “slowness.”
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:16 am
October 16th, 2009 at 9:51 am
I dont normally post comments to blogs but I have to say I love your blog and good luck for the future.
April 19th, 2011 at 12:52 am
The philosophy of NCLB is great! Teachers can always do better, however, they are not miracle workers. Where do parents fall under NCLB? Is it when they bring their children late everyday, ignore every newsletter, conference request, and school event that would demonstrate they are a parent… No I believe that glory is held in for the SSI meeting so they can show how fabulous they are as a parent , modeling exemplary parenting by living off those who actually work and actually pay taxes. And a all cases, those collecting really are citizens of this country. Amazing, the great characteristics our nation really thinks about when classifying a school. Quite amazing that a school with 91 percent poverty is considered a failure because their students aren’t proficient. Damn… I wonder if these children’s parents are proficient…. Hmm. Probably not!! Mostly survival is of great importance… Eating…sleeping with no heat and not having a meal since the school lunch at 11 am the day before. We call these students failures. Their schools are failures … But now our nation can sleep well because we have spent an enormous amount of funds to help other nations be proficient… A damn shame our politicians of Republican parties find their vast texas ranches the norm. Hmm amongst the top wealthy. Those who will never know or experience the harsh realities of teaching 91 percent povertyas if were merely a comparison to the local affluent community school who struggles so greatly at 6 percent poverty. So who is really failing? Our schools? Or the politicians? Maybe the political powers who have no relevant information during their grand NCLB platform could join one of my students sleeping on a sheet on a rotted floor of a mobile home, in a park surrounded by gunshots, screaming crackheads, and no heat to stay warm. That next morning can be embraced by his teacher asking how his evening was. I think maybe if every politician had such an experience and were called failures they may simply strive to models. Welfare with no expectations, food, cigarettes free of charge…..and keep having children, why of course- that increases “free” money… I think the picture is clear. Our teachers are phenomenal and can do great things but it sure would be great to have such expectations for our politicians and oh yes, those who get everything for free and aren’t responsible for a damn thing! This is also great to know we provide our illegal immigrants the same bonus packages, while the teachers are identified as failures. This country and it’s beliefs really need to be reassed by a country who has it together.. A country where working citizens are taught respect and people earning money really have to do something to get it! Wow, the fall of a great nation is being designed by those assumed to be great. Think….think…..think…. This is NOT the country I grew up in. Welcome to our new society….a fallen system. Happy Reublicans!