The Median Sib

PawPaw and I went bike-riding on The Natchez Trace yesterday evening.  We saw lots of deer.  One was nibbling on some grass near the edge of the road, and we came within about 15 feet of it.  It just turned its head, perked up its ears and looked at us briefly - then resumed munching on the grass.  Very lovely.  I’ll take my camera next time we go.

I had a conversation with two close friends recently about keeping secrets.  One friend commented that you are only as healthy as your secrets.  So in the interest of not keeping secrets - keeping things in the open - being transparent to a certain point, I thought I’d write the following - something I’d typically not share with anyone other than PawPaw:

PawPaw and I have started going to a relationship counselor.  We went in with extremely low expectations since we’ve both been through counseling before and weren’t very impressed with it.  Neither of us wanted someone who just sat there and listened to us talk.  We wanted someone who would listen but would also offer suggestions and observations.  As we walked into the building for the first time last week, we assured each other that if we didn’t like the counselor or if we felt it wasn’t helpful, that first session would also be the last session.  It was nothing but a trial run.

We hadn’t been having any particular problems - but we recognized that after 28 years of marriage, a divorce and over 8 years of being separate, our patterns of communication, while improved, are still sometimes iffy.  We don’t want to re-marry and be plagued with the same issues.  We both agree that being single is better than being in an unhappy marriage.

Fortunately, our low expectations for the counseling session were not met.  We went to someone who was highly recommended, and we both came away encouraged. 

It’s amazing how an impartial observer can pinpoint patterns of behavior.  At one point in our session, I was talking and the counselor commented, “Do you realize what you just did?”  She explained.  I had said to PawPaw, “I know what  you’re thinking . . . ” and went on to tell him what he was thinking about something I had said.  She was right.  A few minutes later, PawPaw was talking, and she stopped him with the same question.  He had done the same thing.  Something SO obvious but something neither of us were aware of.  It was an amazingly helpful session. 

She assigned us homework which we’ve already completed - and enjoyed.  We had talked about how we planned to put a picnic table at the building site for our new home so that we could picnic over there while the house is being built.  Our homework was to get the picnic table, put it together, and put it on the building site.  We did that on Saturday - and we’ve already had two picnics over there.  It has been fun.

I’m actually looking forward to the next session later this week.

PawPaw and I met our son and daughter-in-law to see “Cars” last weekend.  As the movie started, I thought, “What in the world am I doing here watching an animated movie?”  I generally don’t care for animated movies.  And at first, it was a little slow.  But I was so wrapped up in the story, and by the end I could honestly say it was one of the best movies I’ve seen this year - good story, good lesson to be learned.  There was a lot of humor that only the grown-ups would understand.  I only learned afterwards of how the car characters were fashioned after the people who provided their voices.  I want to see it again when it comes out on video to see those characterizations. 

So “Cars” receives an A from me.  Go see it - even if you don’t like animated movies.

It’s only  been a few days short of a year since my last dentist visit.  Yes, I was supposed to go during the winter, and I put it off till spring, and then put it off again until yesterday.  And I religiously brush my teeth.  Alas, I left the dentist’s office yesterday with a report of THREE cavities!  All small - but still there.  So Tuesday I will start the process of getting everything fixed.  I just wish they could put me to sleep until it’s over.  I’m way too old to have all this anxiety over going to the dentist…

Do you ever get tired just THINKING about all you have to do?  I will move in two weeks, and that by itself wears me out.  I just hate thinking about going through all those little details again - the phone calls about electricity, gas, phone, tv, water/sewer, getting boxes, packing everything up, etc.   I’ve got to arrange for movers, plus figure out what I will take to PawPaw’s house and what I will put in storage until the new house is built.  THAT in addition to putting some semblance of organization and to PawPaw’s house.  In this case, a house that a man has lived in by himself for six or seven years is NOT an orderly place.  It certainly needs a “woman’s touch.” 

AND, after I’ve closed on the sale and everything is final, I have to remember to dig up my extremely lucky St. Joseph statue. Can’t do it until then, though, because that might jinx my deal.

When I put the “for sale by owner” sign in my front yard a few weeks ago and buried my St. Joseph statue, I had no idea my house would sell immediately and that the people would want to move in so quickly.  I know in three weeks I’ll be glad it’s all behind me.  right now, though, I’m tired.

Thirteen Things About Summer That Should Be Against The Law

(If I were the one making laws for the summer, these are a few I’d insist on!)

1.  A summer without seeing a Fourth of July fireworks display should be against the law.

2.  A summer without a beach trip should be against the law.

3.  A summer without making homemade ice cream should be against the law.

4.  A summer without a picnic on a blanket should be against the law.

5.  A summer without a trip to pick blueberries should be against the law

6.  A summer without regular visits to the farmers’ market should be against the law.

7.  A summer without a fresh tomato sandwich should be against the law.

8.  A summer without ripe, red, juicy watermelon should be against the law.

9.  A summer without a newly-picked vegetable meal of creamed corn, sliced tomatoes, sliced Vidalia onion, new potatoes, fried okra, purple hull peas and cornbread should be against the law.

10.  A summer without going swimming should be against the law.

11.  A summer without a trip to the mountains to wade in an ice-cold mountain stream should be against the law.  (This could be combined with #4)

12.  A summer without a family reunion (or a trip to visit family) should be against the law.

13.  A summer without sweet ice tea should be against the law. 


Okay - Yesterday I went on a blitz.  (See previous post)  I made an appointment for a mammogram, colonoscopy “consultation”, and with my dentist.  I figured I may as well bite the bullet and go ahead and take care of all these medical/dental things that must be done.  By the time school starts in August I will be very well “investigated” person.  Sigh.

The closing for the sale of my townhouse is scheduled for July 11th.  So I will be busy in the next three weeks packing up stuff.  I’ll be relieved when school starts so I can go back to work and relax a little.

I had my yearly physical at the doctor’s the morning.  Yuck!  Really, there is only one thing I hate more - and that’s going to the dentist.  After putting off getting a colonoscopy for years, the doctor said I REALLY should schedule one - since I’m well past the ripe old age of 50.  Quadruple YUCK!  I guess I will call and make an appointment.  Of course the doctor’s appointment this morning started off with getting myself weighed.  How depressing!  I’ve been religiously going to Curves and exercising every day and eating less for two weeks now — and I still was horrified at my weight.  Guess it’s time to face reality.  Ignorance may be bliss, but it is also fattening.

I just passed the 600 post point!  Wow!  Maybe I should put them altogether into a book and become a millionaire! 

When I was in the first grade in Griffin, Georgia, my class put on the play “Sleeping Beauty.”  No Sleeping Beauty or mother of the princess role for me!  I had the role of the wicked witch who sentenced the kingdom to 100 years of sleep for the dastardly offense of not inviting me to Beauty’s birth celebration.  It has been FIFTY years since that award-winning performance, but I still remember clearly my most defining line:  “So, you didn’t invite me to the party, EH?”   The “EH?” was said with a high evil screech.  I was quite proud of that screech.

The people who put a contract on my house called awhile ago.  They got a contract for the sale of their house, and the people offered them $15,000 MORE than their asking price.  And the buyers already pre-qualify for the loan.  So things are looking very promising.  I’ll keep St. Joseph buried until we close on the sale of my house, though.  But, if things go as planned, the sale could be closed within a month.  Of course “I” didn’t get $15,000 more than my asking price.  I felt really good about the deal I made until I heard THAT.

I don’t “really” believe that St. Joseph has anything to do with it…BUT this is the FOURTH time I’ve sold a property within a few days of burying my St. Joseph statue. . . . and then . . . I was born in St. Joseph hospital in Atlanta. My son is named Joseph. Maybe . . .

Read more: When Luck is so Good You’re Afraid to be too Happy,  Townhouse sold? St. Joseph is working,  St. Joseph Has Been Buried, and For Sale By Owner - The Sign is UP

My sister, Janice, wrote an article recently for Father’s Day about her husband, Gil.  In it she describes seven qualities that make Gil a good father.  Although the article is about Gil and their specific relationship, it is applicable to all fathers.  Here is an abbreviated version. Gil (or any good father):

(1)  is a Godly man of character and integrity. He leads a life of transparency that continues to be a steadfast example for our children. . . . He doesn’t “provoke them to wrath” and he leads them “in the paths of righteousness” through his insightful advice and concern for their spiritual well-being.

(2) loves . . . his wife, unconditionally. One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love and respect his wife, their mother, and to model husbandly dedication and responsibility.  [He gives his wife, their mother] the respect of enjoying talking with [her].

(3) gives [his children] unconditional love, too. He enjoys being with them and has made them a priority throughout their whole lives. [The] kids know that God “delights” in them because their earthly father delights in them.  When our children faced difficulty or unfairness, he gave sympathy freely, but he taught them not to wallow in self-pity, instead to govern their emotions and move on to whatever open door God had for them next. Most importantly, he taught them that God was in control and that He loved them and wanted the best for them, too. 

(4) is totally reliable and absolutely trustworthy. When he says he will do something, he does it. His promises are true. . . . My children are incredibly blessed by having a dad who is a “rock” for them.

(5) corrects them firmly, with consistency. The Bible constantly refers to God as “Father.” [Gil] made it easy for our children to believe in God, their Heavenly Father, because their earthly father was consistent and approachable, firm and reasonable. Like the Heavenly Father, their earthly father instructs them with an “easy yoke” and “light burden.”

(6)  has abundant wisdom, discernment and good judgment. The Scriptures warn parents against “provoking their children to wrath” (Ephesians 6:4). Fathers who make foolish statements, decisions and actions are not good examples for their children.  

(7) [is] intentional in teaching our children about God. The Biblical Book of Deuteronomy stresses the importance of teaching “when you sit at home,” “when you walk along the road,” as well as “when you lie down and when you get up.” . . . [Gil] was exceptional at finding opportunities to teach our children from real-life experiences; he was constantly communicating with them about his own struggles and his own experiences in walking with Christ. He invested himself wholeheartedly in their spiritual development. 

They say that the most important decision anyone makes, next to choosing Christ, is their choice of a mate. . . .[and] the qualities that make him such a good father are the same ones that make me love him and make him such a great husband, too.

I just got home from a quick trip to take dinner to some friends from church.  On the way home, we stopped by an antique store.  We parked the car, and three dogs from the yard next door came running over.  One went directly to my car, hiked up his leg and peed on my tire.  Now what did I ever do to him?  My beautiful convertible!  No respect at all!

I joined CURVES on Monday, and I’ve exercised each day since.  I know that’s only four days, counting today.  However, it STILL is significant for me.  It’s amazing how much better I feel after only a few days of exercising regularly and eating lightly.  PawPaw and I are going to Alaska the end of August/first of September, and that’s a very strenuous vacation.  We’ll be staying in the heart of Denali and doing a lot of hiking and biking.  I want to be ready for it so I can enjoy all the activity without getting overly tired.  So HOORAY - four days of success so far.

Yesterday was Wednesday which meant I picked up the grandkids from daycare and we made dinner together.  Sweet Stuff and Sunshine helped me make brownies for dessert, and while they were baking, we made kebabs for dinner.  It was fun.  When their mommy and daddy got here, we grilled the kebabs and had dinner.  As we were finishing up, we saw their Uncle Joey’s truck at the driveway.  I said, “There’s Joey!”  Sweet Stuff jumped up and exclaimed, “I LOVE that boy!”  And Sunshine chimed in, “He’s a funny boy!” 

If you read this blog regularly you know that Sweet Stuff broke her nose rather badly a few weeks ago.  It is healing nicely now although she is very careful about it since it is still a little tender.  Last night she and PawPaw were having a wonderful time playing.  He had the music cranked up loud, and they were all on the patio dancing.  Sweet Stuff lost her balance and fell against a concrete bird bath — scraping her face.  She is sensitive enough about her nose to automatically protect it, but that meant that her chin got the worst of it — a very red/bloody looking scrape under her chin and lower cheek.  Poor thing!  She looks rather battered!   I told PawPaw that he obviously has never been an elementary school teacher because he was probably more upset than Sweet Stuff because it happened when he was playing with her.  I was trying to comfort Sweet Stuff and having to tell PawPaw to quit acting so upset at the same time.  They both eventually calmed down.

I grew up as one of seven children.  My childhood was in the fifties - before seatbelts.  When my family would travel, my father would drive, and he would take turns letting us children sit “under his wing.”  That means we’d sit close by his side, with his arm in front of us to protect us.  In those days before seatbelts, there was no greater feeling of love and security than traveling down the road - safe and protected under Daddy’s wing.