The Median Sib

I’ve moved in with PawPaw, and I am in the midst of trying to organize a house that a man has lived in alone for six years.  I had to totally empty the pantry that was filled with everything from Christmas wrapping paper, an ice cream freezer, tools, insect spray, a gift box of Hickory Farms cheese/sausage (unopened with an expiration date two years old), paper cups to a bicycle helmet box (empty).  Then I took the canned and boxed food that filled the cabinets where dishes should go and put them in the pantry.  Now I can put dishes in the cabinets. 

When I put my clothes in the closet, the whole shelf assembly fell - totally ruined.  Luckily, I jumped back and it didn’t fall on my head.  It was not made to hold very much.  So I went to WalMart and bought a closet organization kit, and I’ll put that together and install it later tonight - I hope.  My one goal is that by the time PawPaw gets home tomorrow night from his business trip, I’ll have the house at least visibly clean and organized.  Right now all the boxes from my house are stacked on the tables and beds. 

Today is PawPaw’s 59th birthday.  He was 21 when we married in 1969.  My how time flies.  I have no way to post photos of PawPaw since my computere isn’t set up, and he probably wouldn’t like that anyway.  So I’ll have to settle for a no-photograph tribute.

In 1967 I was sitting at the college grill with some friends.  PawPaw walked up to the table and started talking - mostly to me.  We hit it off immediately, and he soon asked me out.  On that Valentine’s Day, I woke up and hiked down the dormitory hall to the bathroom.  When I returned there was a big heart-shaped box of chocolates on my pillow and a lovely valentine.  He’d gotten one of my friends to place them there as soon as she heard me leave my room.  PawPaw has always been really good at surprises and picking out gifts.  I remember being overwhelmed with joy at such a sweet expression of caring.

He’s a strong man.  Our son tells him he has “old man strength.”  Our son is a tall and strong man himself, and yet he still is amazed at how strong PawPaw is.  I don’t think there is any physical task he won’t at least attempt.  Last year we were looking at some land and had to cross a small creek.  He had on waterproof boots.  I didn’t.  He just picked me up and carried me across - and I’m definitely NOT a waif.  He’s a successful businessman, and yet he still drives a bulldozer to build the road to our new house.  A couple weeks ago he was clearing some trees for an electricity cable and a tree he’d cut started falling toward a fence.  He literally held the tree up by himself until I could move the truck and get a chain around the trees and pull the tree in the other direction.  Incredible!  His hands are large and strong.  Since my hands are small, it’s nice to have his hands available for opening jars, too.

However, PawPaw’s strength isn’t just physical. He’s the rock of our family.  Family and church are important to him, and I know he’ll be there if I need him.  He has incredible determination - starting his own business after years in the corporate world.  Our daughter is a vice president in his company, and our son’s business is a subsidiary of his company.

I call him PawPaw here at TMS because that’s what our two granddaughters call him.  There is nothing sweeter than hearing their little voices saying “PawPaw.”  He is an outstanding father and grandfather.  And he has the funniest sense of humor.  We do a lot of laughing when we’re together.

One of the things I love about PawPaw is his consistency.  Whenever he has to travel on business - from the day we married, I could always count on his calling me every single day - sometimes more than just once.   

I’m glad we’re back together, and I’m looking forward to being married to him again.  Happy Birthday, PawPaw!

My nephew, Josh, is a birthday buddy with PawPaw.  Josh turns 26 (I think) today.  He’s a soldier, waiting to be deployed to Iraq.  His mom has a tribute to him on her blog and a photo that brought tears to my eyes. 

Last week I wrote about my nephew, Andrew.  There’s a Caringbridge website where you can find more information.  He is still on a respirator, but he is making significant progress.   If you can, visit the website and say a little prayer for his continued recovery.  Thanks.

I had the house closing today and immediately deposited the check in my bank account.  The closing took about 20 minutes - I signed my name about a zillion times and then got my “proceeds” check.  It is such a freeing feeling to have that 100% behind me.  The couple who bought my townhouse are sweet - they just celebrated their 50th anniversary and are downsizing from a big house and yard.  They are so excited about living there.

Now I can turn my attention to the cabin and to the new house. And, better yet, I can stop writing about all my packing and moving woes!

As of 10:30 tonight, I am FINISHED with my townhouse.  It is totally emptied and cleaned and ready for the new occupants to do a walk-through tomorrow morning and then close.  By lunch, it will be a done deal!  Whew!  That’s a lot of work.  Today I’ve made numerous trips between the townhouse and the cabin.  I’ve made trips to Goodwill and the recycling place.  And I have another load in the van to take to Goodwill and the recycling place tomorrow.  And I have the aching back and aching feet to attest to how much I’ve worked and lifted today.  After tomorrow’s closing, I have to start unpacking all the stuff I moved to the cabin.  Sigh!  I think I need to go back to work so I can relax a little.

(Cheers!  Applause!)  I made it through my first night alone at the cabin (which is what I’ve decided to call it instead of “PawPaw’s house.”  It was a two-room log cabin when PawPaw bought it about 7 years ago, and he has added three bedrooms, two baths and a dining room to it.  So it’s a good size and very nice.  I will get a locksmith out here this week to fix the deadbolts.

I was so tired last night, I went right to sleep around 11:00 and hardly budged until around 6:15 this  morning.  So I’m off to finish up the last of the packing.  I WILL get it all done this morning- or at least I’ll work until around 9:30 when I leave to take my daughter to the airport.  Afterwards, I should be able to finish up everything.  Oh, you just don’t know the absolute joy and relief I will experience when I can drive away from that townhouse and know that I am completely finished with it.  Then I just have to unpack and get things settled here at the cabin.  Sigh!

One good prospect is that PawPaw has to go to Florida next week on business, and I’m going with him.  That’ll be fun - Destin, the beach, deep-sea fishing.  I can’t wait.

1. After several days of moving, I’m blogging again. I still don’t have my computer set up because I’ve got to have time to figure out HOW to set up my computer. I think I have to get a router so I can hook into PawPaw’s DSL line. Not sure how to do that - so I’ll go to the store later this week and ask. In the meantime, I’ll use PawPaw’s computer.

2. I’ve moved everything - except part of the kitchen. Moving is the pits. I’ll get up early in the morning and head back over to my townhouse and try to finish up the kitchen. I’ve got an ENORMOUS stack of stuff to take to Goodwill, a LARGE stack of trash, and various and sundry items to either take to the storage room or bring over to PawPaw’s house.

3. PawPaw had to leave this afternoon for Texas, and he’ll be gone until Thursday evening. That means I have four night at his house (guess it’s my house now, too) by myself. Quite honestly, his house is a little spooky. No security system, no deadbolts (at least none that work), and it’s off on 5 acres by itself - set back from the road. My son had promised to loan me his dog this week, but he never showed up with him. I was actually looking forward to spending this week with Hank. At least he’d provide a little protection.

4. One good thing about PawPaw’s house is that the waterfall, hill and field behind his house can be seen from the bed. First thing this morning, PawPaw told me to look out the window. There was a buck and doe on the hillside - just walking around munching on the grass. They were beautiful, and they wandered around for a few minutes. The buck’s antlers were very velvety.

5. This afternoon when I was unloading one of three carloads of “stuff” at PawPaw’s, there was a raccoon that came out of the woods and hung around the backyard. I had to shoo him away! I think he’s used to coming up on the porch to eat the cat’s food.

6. Tomorrow my daughter has asked me to drive her to the airport. That’ll be nice because we’ll have a good time talking on the way there.

7. I saved the big news for last. PawPaw and I are officially engaged! This morning we packed a picnic breakfast of bagels, cantaloupe and coffee and took it to the building site. While there, he proposed and gave me a GORGEOUS ring. At church later we talked to the minister about doing the ceremony soon. We haven’t set a date, but it will probably be within a few weeks.

It’s after midnight, and the movers will be here in less than 8 hours. I’m exhausted. My sister, Joan (Daddy’s Roses), moved last month, and she had everything ready to go three days before moving day. She said she was bored because she didn’t have anything to do those three days.

Unfortunately, I’m not like Joan. I’m NOWHERE near that far along. My daughter came over and helped me for awhile earlier this evening, but there is still so much to do.

Anyway - I probably won’t post again for a couple days. I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t close on the house until Tuesday. So after the movers are finished I still have four days to finish up all the little stuff. So I’m going to take a deep breath and go to bed. I’m too tired to stay up any longer. Just think - tonight’s my last night sleeping in this townhouse. I won’t miss it for even one second.

I’ve already packed my alarm clock, and I’m afraid I’ll oversleep tomorrow morning and won’t have time to shower and dress before the movers get here.

If anybody in my family reads this, give me a call at 7:00 Central tomorrow morning to make sure I’m awake! (That’s 8:00 Eastern - for all you Georgia folks!)

Stay tuned . . .

Note: It’s 7:15 a.m. Apparently no one in my family read this - because no one called. Sure glad I didn’t depend on that! But I was up at 6:00 anyway. It’s time to unplug the computer. Knowing me, though, I’ll figure out some way to post here before more than a day or two goes by.

Today is moving day for me.  Here are thirteen reasons I hate moving. 

1.  Everything is so JUMBLED.

2.  Boxes and bubble wrap and tissue paper are everywhere.

3.  I won’t be able to visit everyone else’s Thursday Thirteen because I have to unplug my computer and get it ready to be moved… well, and I will be running around nonstop all day Thursday.

4.  Even though I’ve gotten rid of so much junk, there is still more left.

5.  For the past few years, each time I needed to file papers, I just stacked them in boxes instead.  I figured I’d file them later.  I kept filling up boxes and setting them in the storage room.  Now I’ve got over TEN boxes of papers to go through - sort, discard, file, shred. I’ll work on that next week. 

6.  There are boxes on my bed that I have to move before I can go to bed for my last night’s sleep here.

7.  Moving is a lot of WORK.

8.  Moving involves a lot of TRASH.

9.  Moving is, unfortunately, a necessary evil at times.

10.  Moving makes me feel very unsettled for awhile.

11.  It usually takes me at least a week or so to feel at home in a new place.

12.  I’m moving in with PawPaw - and his mother is visiting this week.  How’s THAT for timing?

13.  I’ve cleaned out the freezer and refrigerator - so there’s no food to eat.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

I was reading a report about the best chain restaurants - the ones that have the highest rating of customer satisfaction.  I was astounded that two restaurants that I personally would rate “mediocre” at best made the list.  Carrabba’s was rated the best for Italian food, and Outback was rated best for takeout. 

I’ve only eaten at Carrabba’s twice, but both times I came away with a stomach ache and an awful aftertaste.  You couldn’t pay me to go back.  There are too many really good Italian restaurants to take a chance on Carrabba’s again.  Plus, their commercials with the two owners talking (i.e. trying to be cute and clever) are annoying.

I’ve eaten at Outback quite a few times - not in the last year or so though.  The blooming onions at Outback are good, but greasy.  However, I don’t know how you could batter and fry an onion without making it greasy.  Their other food, however, is merely okay - certainly nothing award-worthy - and at times it hasn’t even reached the “okay” level.  I’ve never tried their takeout, though.  Would a restaurant’s takeout food be better than their in-restaurant food?  I doubt it.  Maybe their takeout service is so outstanding that it compensates for the mediocre food - or maybe they’ve made great improvements in their food since the last time I was there.  I doubt if I go back, though, unless I just really get a hankering for a blooming onion.

All of which goes to show that people have different opinions because obviously some people think Carrabbas and Outback have good food - or else the restaurants padded the pockets of the folks doing the survey.

  Bonefish Grill was the winner for seafood restaurants, and in my book it deserves it.  I have never had anything other than an absolutely delicious dinner there.  PawPaw and I’ve been there a bunch of times, and everytime we’ve had a scrumptious meal.  The salads are so fresh and the seafood is wonderful.  It’s expensive (for us) but worth it.

PawPaw and I were talking the other night about how when restaurants first open the food and service is outstanding.  However, they start getting lax and after a few months both the food and service go way downhill.  It’s happened to Copeland’s and Stoney River and others as well.

The movers will be here at 8:00 Thursday morning.  That means I have one day left to get everything ready to move.  Sigh!  I’m making great progress, but there is a lot to do on Wednesday.  Right now it’s 11:30 p.m., and I’m so tired from all the 4th of July festivities and packing.  This morning I took one load of stuff to the storage space I’ve rented.  By the time I finished loading and unloading all those boxes, I was drenched in sweat.  So I think I’ll call it a day and go to bed.  I’ll start fresh in the morning.

I had some good news today.  This afternoon I tried on some jeans that I couldn’t even zip a few weeks ago. They were still a little snug, but I could zip them.  So my exercising at Curves and cutting back on food is showing some results.  Yea!  It’s absurd how happy that makes me.

I think the doctors are right to doubt this guy’s story. (Warning - rather gross, but humorous, link)

I was sleeping soundly awhile ago and through the fog of sleep I became aware of a sound.  Very rhythmic.  THUD! pause. . . THUD! pause . . . THUD! pause . . . THUD!  This went on and on.  Was it coming from my house?  What on earth was it?  I determined it was coming from outside - but very close.  I got up and looked out the front window.  Across the street, workers are building a new set of townhouses.  A large truck with bricks is parked there.  One guy is standing on the truck lifting a handful of bricks.  Another guy is standing on the ground.  First guy tosses the bricks to the second guy.  Second guy tosses the bricks into a stack next to the townhouse - THUD!  He turns to accept another handful of bricks and then tosses that handful into the stack - THUD!  Mystery solved.  Sleep ended.

I’ve been amused the past couple days to see a comment on one of my Mary Winkler posts from someone who is either an adolescent posing as a married male, or a married male stuck at an adolescent mental age.  Later I looked at my site meter and followed the link to the referring website and found the funniest - and most pitiful - website.  I won’t give the URL here because I don’t want to give them any traffic.  The website is a “hate” website, and the object of their hate is American women. 

This is their view of the American woman.  They discuss my website as an example of evil feminism. . .  Which is funny to anyone who knows me.  They dislike me because I wrote that there was a possibility that Matthew Winkler might have had an overbearing “man is the boss and the woman had better submit” attitude - given his COC affiliation and knowing that church’s beliefs.  Just speculation, but apparently what a typical feminist nazi would write.  So they’ve posted my blog address for their readers to see how evil I am…and I’ve had a few hits from there today. 

The posts and comments I read are like tantrums.  Supposedly grown married men blaming American women for all their troubles - and complaining about how badly married men are always treated.  Reading a few posts, you’d think that American women were the cause of all the ills in the world.  The men who post belly-ache endlessly about what terrible and useless wives American women are.  It’s the funniest and most pathetic and transparent example of projection I’ve seen in a long time.  Maybe not projection - but a lack of taking responsibility for their own actions and lives.  It’s sad to see people use a negative experience with one person (usually their ex-wives) to label and denigrate an entire group of women.  Can you imagine being married to one of them? 

Apparently they go to other countries to find properly submissive wives.  These are men who have such overwhelming neuroses and insecurities that they’re incapable of maintaining healthy relationships with women, and their only perceived option (since they can’t accept responsibility or any blame for their failures themselves since that might mean they’re not masculine enough) is to blame American women. Yes, that’s it.  They were perfect in their marriages.  It was just those damn overbearing, greedy, immoral, feminist American women who were impossible to please.

And while it is sad, it is also funny to read the adolescent nature of their site.  My sister and I were talking about it earlier, and I’ve been chuckling about it all day.

I just paid $40 for a locksmith to spend five minutes repairing my front door lock.  As soon as he looked at the lock, he turned to his assistant and said, “Look at that!  It still has the plastic thing in it.”  The builder had left a plastic space-holder in the lock rather than putting a screw in it.  No screw - No wonder the lock was wobbly and turned in circles.

So that $40 added to the almost $400 I paid to the plumber last week to repair two leaks in the crawlspace that were most likely there since the house was built less than two years ago, along with $74 for the official termite inspection I had to do.  And don’t forget the AC repair.  This move is getting more and more expensive.

Everything (except the termite inspection) are things that the builder SHOULD have handled.  If you live in Tennessee - never buy a home from the Jones Company in Tennessee.  I don’t know if they’re in other states or not.  I’ve owned several homes and have had to deal with home builders and repair folks, and I’ve never seen any worse than them.  The absolute worst home builders I’ve ever dealt with - bad workmanship and complete failures in dealing with customers.  Plus, the guy who handled my initial walk-through when I bought the house and also handled my one-year punch list flat out lied to me - both times.  Apparently it’s a pattern with him, and he does it very convincingly.  They have so many people trying to buy their homes that they don’t care about the quality of their work or the satisfaction of their customers.

My only consolation at this point is that what goes around comes around.  It will eventually come back to bite them in the butt . . . I hope. 

The latest news about Mary Winkler - admitted killer of her husband, Matthew Winkler.  

This is from THE TENNESSEAN.

By TONYA SMITH-KING The Jackson Sun, SELMER, Tenn. — The minister’s wife accused of killing her husband shot him in the back as he lay in bed the morning after the couple argued about financial woes stemming from a check-kiting scheme, according to testimony at a bail hearing Friday.A Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent read from a statement authorities said Mary Carol Winkler gave TBI agents in Orange Beach, Ala., shortly after her arrest. “I’d gotten a call from the bank, and we were having troubles, mostly my fault. Bad bookkeeping,” Mary Winkler’s statement said. “He was upset with me about that. I was upset at him because he had really been on me lately, criticizing me for things, the way I walk, the way I eat, everything.“It was just building up to this point. I was just tired of it. I guess I just got to a point and snapped.”Mary Winkler appeared Friday before McNairy County Circuit Judge Weber McCraw and asked for bail; the hearing lasted almost three hours.Mary Winkler’s attorney, Steven Farese Sr., said he expects McCraw to make a decision on the bail request by some time next week.Winkler, 32, is charged with first-degree murder in the death of Matthew Winkler, pastor at Selmer’s Fourth Street Church of Christ. Her trial is set for Oct. 30.It is not clear whether prosecutors plan to seek the death penalty. They have until 30 days before the trial to decide.Church members found Matthew Winkler’s body March 22 in the bedroom at the parsonage after the Winklers failed to show up for an evening church service. A nationwide Amber Alert was issued for Mary Winkler and the couple’s three young girls. They were located the next day in Orange Beach.TBI Special Agent Brent Booth read Mary Winkler’s statement Friday, revealing chilling details about the shooting.

Winkler said in the statement that there had been increasing problems in the last year and a half of the couple’s 7-year marriage. The alarm clock went off at about 6 a.m. or 6:30 a.m. the morning of the shooting, the statement said.

Mary Winkler said she got up, and, while her husband was still in bed, she went to the closet and removed his 12-gauge shotgun from its case.

“I don’t remember going to the closet or getting the gun,” the statement said. “The next thing I remember was hearing a loud boom. I remember thinking it wasn’t as loud as I thought it would be.

“I heard the boom and he rolled out of the bed onto the floor, and I saw some blood on the floor and some bleeding around his mouth.

“I went over and wiped his mouth off with a sheet. I told him I was sorry and that I loved him, and I went and ran. I do remember me holding the shotgun, hearing the boom and then a smell.

“He asked me, ‘Why?’ I just said I was sorry. I was scared, sad and wanted to get out of the house.”

The statement went on to say Mary Winkler fled with the couple’s three girls in the family’s van.

She headed to Orange Beach because she wanted to take the girls to the beach to play with them as long as she could, the statement said.

“I planned on coming (back) when we were through,” the statement said. “I knew we would be caught … I didn’t tell the girls the truth that I had shot daddy. I said he was in the hospital, just anything to make up him not being with us. I eventually got stopped and arrested by the police.”

Booth revealed during his testimony that Mary Winkler had multiple bank accounts and that some checks going through those accounts were unusual.

Booth said Mary Winkler had “deposited into accounts in Canada, Nigeria … totaling $17,500.”

Checks had been deposited in Regions Bank in Selmer and First State Bank in Henderson, Booth said. The account in Henderson had been set up in her name only, he said.

Assistant District Attorney Walter Freeland asked Booth if he was familiar with the term, “check kiting,” and Booth said he was.

“Where a check is written on one bank, deposited into another account at another bank and then withdrawing funds from the bank where the check was deposited before it cleared the bank it was written on,” Booth said.

“Did you observe any such irregularities in your investigation in the bank records of Mary Winkler?” Freeland said.

“Yes,” Booth said.

“She was writing checks on the bank, First State Bank in Henderson, Tennessee, depositing those checks into Regions Bank in Selmer, Tennessee, and then withdrawing funds through the ATM on Regions Bank in Selmer, Tennessee, and also First South Bank in Selmer, Tennessee.”

The bank discovered what was going on and phoned Mary Winkler about it the day before her husband was shot.

Defense attorneys said Mary Winkler had been the victim of a Nigerian check scam.

Defense attorneys presented witnesses who testified they believed Winkler would obey any rules she was given if she was released on bond.

Kathy Thomsen of McMinnville testified Mary Winkler would stay with her family and work at a dry cleaner, where a job has been secured for her.

She fell for the Nigerian check scam?! That’s the one, isn’t it, where you get an email telling you that some rich guy died and left millions of dollars — and that all you have to do is send the writer of the email a few thousand dollars and you’ll get part of the millions. Is there REALLY anyone who would fall for such idiocy?

I have to take back most of what I’ve written before about Mary Winkler. I’ve lost my sympathy for her. The woman is not only dishonest in the check-kiting thing, but she’s apparently stupid, too.